14 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write (2/19)

'Republicans honor Scalia's devotion to the Constitution by ignoring it to delay successor's appointment.'
14 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write (2/19)

The news these days is pretty much like Napoleon Dynamite's uncle Rico -- full of shit, bad ideas, and is kind of depressing. And, yeah, it probably has a mustache, because why not?

Luckily for you, our readers have taken this week's popular headlines and stripped them of all the bullshit so you can quickly digest all the important stuff, and spend as little time with a sad, creepy uncle as possible.

billboard CRACKEDOON Grammys 2016 News, Hot 100 Billboard 200 Charts, Vide Protesters Protest Protesters Protesting Protest Beyonce performs during th
CN Entertainment 'Desdpool' movie review CRACKED.GOM Record number of 7 year old children attend R-rated movie EOMA Ryan Reynolds corrupts innocent yo
CNN Money U.S. tickers The Feed Burger King exposes wiener CING CRACKEDOON
GAME OF THRONES Game of Thrones season 6 photos confirm nothing about the fate of the one character viewers are curious about Sansa and Theon, a stand
FIFAcor Governance FOOTBALL GOVERNANCE Investigation confirms top FIFA official is corrupt; the sky is blue; bears s#%* in the woods (FIFA.com) 12 Feb
U.S. Intellectual author of torture, murder, extortion and other human rights violations, pleads guilty to a misdemeanor and might get up to 6 months
E POLITICO Magazine 2016Election Policy 4 THE NAL PRE LUB JumWebb'16 SHARES WHERE ADENS PR RG f bo JimWebb 16 CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT www.webb2016.co
VARIETY 0GD Editions: U.S SIGN IN Search FILM TV- DIGITAL CON'TENDERS VIDEO DIR Audiences finally sick of seeing Johnny Depp Justin Kroll Film Reporte
CNN U.S. Crime Justioe Energy+ Enironment Extreme Weather Space Scienoe Excitedly tweet this in order to imply that you understand theoretical physics
(GRAGKEDGON BBC Sign in News Sport Weather Shop Earth Travel Mor NEWS Home Video World UK Business Tech Science Magazine Entertainment & Arts World Af
Republicans honor Scalia's devotion to the Constitution by ignoring it to delay successor's appointment Dy PERRY BACON JR. and CARRIE DANN The death o
Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Acknowledges Existence of Average-sized Women By VANESSA WILKINS . Fe 10 2016. 211PMET f shase wth Facbook arw Tene
UPROXX WATCH FEATURED ENTERTAINMENT SPORTS MUSIC LIFE to Nation Collectively Watches Return of Fictional Disaster to Avoid Coming to Terms with Real O

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