These days, reading the news is like stumbling upon a siren: Sure, its words sound sweet and the naked bits look great, but the price you pay is your grizzly demise. Or something like that.

Anyway ... luckily for you, our readers have taken this week's popular headlines and stripped them of all the bullshit so you can get the news AND look at sexy gabbles on the Internet without dying.

Entry by bazooka

abc NEWS U.S. World Politics IOWA CAUCUSES Candidate Nobody Knew About Hopes You Notice He Gave Up WATCH Martin O O'Malley Suspends Presidential Campa

Entry by VALDAKIS

Sport league that encourages head-on collisions is surprised about increase in concussions BY NATHANIEL VINTON Folow / VYORK DAILY NEWS Updated: Satur

Entry by Randallw

Following Hollywood's casting trend, British TV network casts white actor to play Michael Jackson. 28 January 2016 Entertainment & Arts GRAUN AP/Reute

Entry by Randallw

BRFAKING NEWS Police swoop on leader of armed group occupying a U.S. wildlife refuge. Shots fired. CN U.S. Oregon protest leader Ammon Bundy others ar

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