15 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write (2/05)

These days, reading the news is like stumbling upon a siren: Sure, its words sound sweet and the naked bits look great, but the price you pay is your grizzly demise. Or something like that.
Anyway ... luckily for you, our readers have taken this week's popular headlines and stripped them of all the bullshit so you can get the news AND look at sexy gabbles on the Internet without dying.
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