The Internet is a horrible place -- a wretched hive of scum and villainy. And with every new fan theory the web collective churns out about the new Star Wars film, the more worried we become about the finished product.

But then we said, "Fuck it" and asked our readers for equally awful theories about the film we could contribute. The winner is below, but first the runners-up ...

Entry by Mgloss

PARSECS

Entry by misterowlman

14 (Terrible) Predictions About The Force Awakens

Entry by Jim Doughty

CRACKED COM

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We are offering so many opportunities for you to win some dough that it'd be insane if you didn't get in on this. Aside from our photoplasties ($100 per contest) and GIF contest ($150), we are paying out 10 winners for our macro contests. And YES, you can win all 10 spots ($350 payout) if you've got the skills to blow our minds that many times.

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