Once upon a time, people dressed themselves to protect their genitals from the elements. Then the '60s happen, and all that "dress for utility" shit went to pot. Nowadays, it's a rarity to see someone walking around not looking like some sort of fashion billboard.

With that in mind, we asked our readers to help us make heads and tails of all the cool shirts kids wear these days by showing us what they really mean. The winner is below, but first the runners-up ...

Entry by SkipBitman

CRACKEDCON EXERCISE ...EX..ER..CISE ...EX..AR..SIZE ...EGGS...ARE...SIDES .FOR BACON... BACON. I WROTE ABOUT BACON ONCE ON FACEBOOK, NOW MY FRIENDS KE

Entry by tusk1113

If 'Clever' T-Shirts Actually Told The Truth

Entry by stgcomm

3I'be neber been to Compton Compton ...bult if 3S did, 3I'd shit my droopy pants in terror and run away crying.

Entry by Lunachick71

If 'Clever' T-Shirts Actually Told The Truth

Entry by mattographer

TASTE I HAVE TERRIBLE SHOWS IN TELEVISION CRACKEDCON

Entry by AzISeeIt

y GRANDMOTHER stiul THINKS J'm 12 PEARS OLD (but, hey, at least she got the size right.) CRACKEDCON

Entry by Scott Laffey

CRACKEDOOM Seriouslu convinced this MAHes me coolER than a Star Uars Fan.

Entry by Gorthag

If 'Clever' T-Shirts Actually Told The Truth

Entry by Edvamp

GRACODON I THOUGHT THIS WAS BOB MARLEY

Entry by Fenrir66

WIKIPEDIA TLANKS I GOT AWAY WITH PLAGIARISM CRACKEDOON

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We are offering so many opportunities for you to win some dough that it'd be insane if you didn't get in on this. Aside from our photoplasties ($100 per contest) and GIF contest ($150), we are paying out 10 winners for our macro contests. And YES, you can win all 10 spots ($350 payout) if you've got the skills to blow our minds that many times.

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