If you gained superpowers, would you be in the X-Men or the Brotherhood or Evil Mutants? The answer is neither: All of us would join the Society of Superpowered Dickheads. Because, let's face it -- we wouldn't use our powers to save the world or dominate it. We'd use them to be hilariously petty to each other like a bunch of toddlers.

With that in mind, we asked you to show us how you'd abuse your newly gained abilities. The winner is below, but first the runners-up ...

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