3

Pop Culture Has Given People Weird Expectations

Getting by without talking is doable. Andy carries around a notepad to scribble notes, and his phone has a text-to-speech app. "I need to do everything in person. I also have a letter from a doctor on me at all times. I've only ever had to use it a few times, but it's come in handy when I needed it. Once a policeman pulled me over for speeding, and my friend next to me said, 'He's mute,' but the policeman didn't believe him until I pulled it out."

As you can see, the biggest obstacle is usually ignorance. Even after having it explained, lots of people just don't believe selective muteness is a thing, as if it's a bit he's been doing for years for attention. Others who don't know his situation just get frustrated. When he was a teenager, Andy almost had the cops called on him when security at a swimming pool accused him of sneaking in without a pass and couldn't understand why, instead of explaining his pass was in his locker, this kid just kept doing "I can't talk" charades with his hands.

The reality is that, like any condition that's even a little bit outside the norm, people have to go by what they've seen in movies. For better or worse. "The harmless assumption people have is the 'Vow of Silence' type, in that you're being silent for a reason."

2

Employers Don't Get It Either

"Nearly every job I tried to get, I hit a brick wall during the interview." And this even occurs when he specifically selects jobs that don't require human interaction. "I applied through email and did well until they asked for a phone interview. These weren't jobs where I had to talk. These were data input jobs ... My selective muteness caused me to go silent on a few interviews, and those were bad. I resorted to writing my responses, and by the third time I wrote a response, one of the interviewers would say, 'We're done here.'"

He did eventually get one of those data entry jobs, but co-workers weren't shy about hiding their frustration with the guy who seems like he can talk, but just doesn't for some presumably ridiculous reason.

"... Despite telling them I had selective muteness, [I] was to verbally tell one of the groups which document we did instead of emailing it. My solution was to write what document I completed on a sticky note and putting it on the group's shared desk ... After a week, the group's head came to my desk and dropped a large stack of my sticky notes on it. 'You need to tell us from now on. This is a waste of sticky notes.'"

You can ask anyone with a disability; it's one thing for other people to know you have a condition, but it's another for them to actually put in minor effort to accommodate it. Sticky notes don't just grow on trees, dammit!

Related: 5 Realities Of LIfe When You're Born With No Imagination

1

It Can Have (Positive) Effects On Your Personality

Delivering your end of a conversation via a notepad has one huge effect on everyday communication: It eliminates rash responses. "A lot of people see me as wise or knowing what I'm talking about. But even with my notepad, I take time to write a response. I've caught myself many times writing something as soon as I thought it, but scribbling it out because I realized how wrong it was."

We're not saying this makes all of the other inconveniences worth it, but think of how many times in your life this would have saved you grief.

"I've written down mean-spirited jokes as responses, the ones most people would regret saying, but after writing it, I would have second thoughts, flip to a new sheet ... you get a 20-second delay. People think I'm really thinking about their question." So it's kind of like if Twitter held your tweet there for a bit with a prompt reading "Jesus Christ. Do you really want to send THAT?!" We'd have a world that's a little more thoughtful and little less covfefe.

And that's not the only plus; it also makes him an expert listener. "I can't interrupt or start talking when I think they're done. Even if I'm comfortable enough with you to talk with my soft voice, I remain quiet longer between whoever is talking with me. My brothers call this my 'brain delay,' but what is really going on in my head is me visualizing whether what I'm going to say is going to sound stupid in my voice."

Yeah, it seems like there are many, many divorces -- and probably wars -- that could have been prevented this way.

Evan V. Symon is an interviewer, journalist and interview finder guy at Cracked. Have an awesome job/experience for a Personal Experience? Hit us up here today!

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