He felt so good, in fact, that "in a moment of pure 'What the hell?'" he decided to go back to school. "I've now got a first-class history degree, I'm a hobbyist writer, and I have friends who don't judge me on my physical appearance," he says. "I never would have done that without the Sustenon, and I did it on my own, with no coaching or pressure from outside ... I never would have had the confidence to do that, prior to treatment."
But there's a bittersweet edge to it, though -- what Kevin calls "its own little extra kick in the teeth" (you know, aside from the smelly pee). "Imagine growing up with learning difficulties, being labelled (and pitied) for being subnormal, and then getting better," he says. And not only that, but knowing you could have been better several decades ago, if only you'd known you even had a problem. "I suddenly realized what a hellish childhood I'd had, and that furthermore, no, nobody else felt like that. I'd grown up believing everyone felt sick and terrified and bloated and awkward in childhood, and that I just couldn't handle it for some reason. In short, I felt cheated out of my childhood."
The lesson? Don't let shame prevent you from seeking help, ever. You might not be a butt-shot away from fixing your whole life, but who knows?
Manna has a rich inner life which transcends hyperlinking, thank you very much, but also a Twitter.
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