"Every now and then we come across a [corpse] who looks like the Fat Albert of the deer world," Brandon continues."The deer gets struck in such a way that it closes off exits in its body, causing the building up of gas with nowhere to go, which blows the corpse up like a horrible furry balloon. A couple of times we were lucky to find them just as they were beginning to bloat. Usually a body bloats slightly anyway, but if you crush the small intestine, it's not coming out easily. Over time, it will gradually deflate -- unless it's punctured."
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Which means at least one kid with a stick has gotten a "Turnpike Surprise" right in the face.
What follows is, well, just about the grossest f*****g thing we've ever heard:
"The deer we picked up that did this had a pot belly, and it didn't compute for us at the time. It was a simple drag-into-truck job. There was a survey stake by the edge of the road and the belly must have scraped the top, because we heard a popping sound like a bursting pudding-filled water balloon -- then we saw half the deer entrails and blackish blood spurting out. It was the worst thing I have ever smelled, and I'm around death all day. I looked at my partner and he looked like he was going to pass out. We quickly dumped the carcass into the back of the truck, quadruple-bagged the entrails and went straight to the composting place. The smell didn't come out of my truck for a long time."
Yeah, that should fix it.