"No sir, the one by the door is our operational fire extinguisher. This one is for ... other stuff."
There's nothing technically illegal about getting paid to beat someone up with their permission, as long as you don't touch their gabbles. If you arrest them, you're going to have to arrest Evander Holyfield, too. "There's never any sex at a dungeon," Holland says. That might seem weird, because sex is very clearly what's going on, but we're talking about the legal definition of sex. "Hand jobs, blow jobs, foot jobs, rim jobs -- basically all jobs are off the table." Ironically, puritanical ideas about what counts as sex actually hinders those very same puritans' efforts to punish people for selling it.
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Pictured: the leather-clad difference between the letter and the spirit of the law.
"However, the definition of what constitutes prostitution varies more that you'd think, depending on where you live," Holland goes on. For example, in Holland's state, getting paid to painfully prod a dude's undercarriage (known as CBT, or c**k-and-ball torture) is A-OK, legally speaking -- as long as you wear gloves. There has to be a barrier, which is why the ladies at Holland's dungeon also always wear panties. There can also be no exchange of fluids, which gets more complicated than you'd think. For example, the iconic whip is in fact rarely used in Holland's establishment because it can draw blood, which is a fluid.