"A very popular weight loss method is sodium loading/deloading," Chan explained. "Basically, about five to seven days before the weigh-in, you dramatically increase the amount of salt in your diet, and drink tons of water. Then three days out, you cut sodium completely and reduce your water intake. That has the effect of releasing tons of water by making you pee more than you ordinarily would." That last bit might be a bit of an understatement, because in extreme cases, sodium loading can cause you to piss away up to 30 pounds of extra weight in just five days' time -- we're talking about gallons of piss here.
"Can you write off bathroom salt-licks as a business expense?"
And then there are, uh, more direct ways to use bodily functions to your advantage: "A kinda mean way to get an advantage over your opponent," says Dallas, "is to not wash your shorts pre-fight, and train in them too ... Or, if you pooped yourself in the ring and somehow ended in a position where your opponent is on bottom, one quick shift will give them a nice whiff of what's in your shorts. Better than a knockout punch." Oh, you think he's joking? Let us regale you with the story of the infamous Sylvia-Silva match:
"In January 2006, Tim Sylvia had a bad stomach virus and couldn't stop shitting, and sometime during one of the exchanges, he involuntarily squeezed one out," Dallas said, painting us a disgusting word picture. "Assuerio Silva had to endure being in close proximity to another man's poop, and smelling every warm, moist bit of it."
Assuerio Silva: Officially less badass than new parents neck-deep in soiled nappies.