5

It's Extremely Demanding Both Physically And Mentally

Marc Serota/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Those instruments are pretty weighty. A trombone can weigh 15 pounds, and a tuba can weigh 20. That's not so bad until you realize you are lugging them around for hours on end, playing your heart out all the while. Halftime shows can last anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes and be filled with moves complex enough to make Michael Jackson look like a drunken hippopotamus.

Wait for it ...

"It was definitely a workout," said John. "It takes a long time to master running and playing at the same time."

The constant movement also means you're gonna sweat, baby. Band uniforms are often made of wool, even in Southern states with humidity over 90 percent. It's like they've learned nothing from the Civil War.

The Marching Virginians
Nothing says "Classic Gameday Spirit" like old-timey heatstroke.

"Your band uniform is going to get soaked from all the sweat," said Derek. "Even during the colder months, we wear underwear and nothing else under the uniforms. We are marching a lot, and even in near-freezing temperatures where you walk out onto the field shivering, by the end of it you are roasting. Our sousaphone [tuba] player would often button down the top of his uniform once off the field and lay down on the cold ground. He looked like a crazy person, but those hats and thick wool uniforms really heat you up fast."

4

It's A Full-Time Job (With No Pay And No Benefits)

The Marching Virginians

NCAA athletes spend 20 to 40 hours a week practicing, and only 20 hours of that can be "official" practice. For marching band, up to 30 hours can be official practice. However, most people spend extra time outside of practice, working on songs and routines before games.

"It depended on the day, but I definitely had at least 25 hours a week on-field practice," said Derek. "Altogether? Forty hours. Forty-five? It was like a full-time job."

But there is compensation of some sort, right?

Ingram Publishing/Ingram Publishing/Getty Images
Wrong.

"No one got any scholarships for band at VT," said John.

"Many of us had to decide on working at the Carl's Jr. or staying with band," recalled Derek. "There's no way you can be a full-time student, band member, and part-time employee, especially until the new year."

The Marching Virginians - The Spirit of Tech
"We've got the theoretical physics department working on a way squeeze
in 25 hours of practice per day."

3

The Band Is Completely At The Mercy Of How Well The Team Does

Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

The notable scarcity of sousaphone enthusiasts around the world means most people watching the band are doing so only because the football team is on timeout. If the team does well, then the band rises with them. And if the team does poorly, the team takes them down:

"VT would charter several planes just so the band could get down to Miami for the Orange Bowl," said John. "We flew down two years, but one year we had won a few less games and we took the bus instead."

Amateur rules apply only to the athletes, so the school is willing to pay for large per diems, hotels, and plane tickets just so that the band is there to give their brassy support. Schools get paid to go to bowl games. For example, the Orange Bowl pays each school $18 million just to play -- those trombone players could live like kings!

The Marching Virginians
It pays to look this good.

Except they don't, not always:

"My team only made a bowl game once," recalled Derek. "Once the team began losing more, the band was punished. The team still got to stay in relatively good hotels, but we got really sketchy motels and a $5 per diem. Some road trips we were just brought on the bus to a stadium 200 miles away early in the morning and brought back late at night so they didn't have to pay either of those costs."

The Marching Virginians
Nothing limbers you up for synchronized movement quite like four hours crammed in a bus.

2

Bands Can Actually Affect The Outcome Of A Game

Doug Benc/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

"The marching band can actually get a penalty called on them," explained John. "We were playing Old Dominion, and some of their band members had stepped out onto the field. It was by accident, but the referee saw that and called a penalty on them. Since they were, they got a 10-yard penalty. The band has not been allowed onto the field during play since a Stanford game where the band went onto the field and was mowed down by the other team."

Which, if you've never seen it, you're welcome.

1

Bands Play More Than Just College Games

kzenon/iStock/Getty Images

Just when a bunch of college band kids thought they were done with the wedgie-filled days of high school, they'll soon discover that high schools are often very keen on bringing them back.

"VT would send us to high school games every Friday," said John. "Throughout [one particular] game the other team's coach kept complaining to the referees that we were a distraction to his players, but since no rules were broken, his players had to deal with hundreds of trained band members playing rousing themes before each important play. It got to the players, and [the high school that invited us] won 42-0."

Michael Shroyer/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
That's when you turn it up to a volume commonly known as "irreparable hearing loss."

That isn't an isolated incident. Derek also encountered this.

"The dirt-poor public high school would always get trounced against this private school every year," he recalled. "During my senior year, their school had gotten rid of their band program and asked us if we could play for them. Our director said yes, and we changed into the old gross high school uniforms and played their fight song. The public school looked stunned. They were so used to a small 12-person band. I'm not sure if it was us or an improved team, but they beat the private school for the first time in 24 years."

Mitch Aunger/iStock/Getty Images
At which point we assume credits started rolling and the band began playing "Don't You (Forget About Me)."

"Most of the time we are hired out or voluntarily attend funerals or perform at weddings of alumni."

Just imagine it: Your disappointed mother sitting there, all alone at your funeral, when 50 kids in bright red uniforms show up, blasting "Camptown Races" and forming a giant middle finger that spans the graveyard. Truly, band is the gift that keeps on giving.

Evan V. Symon is the interview finder at Cracked. Have an awesome experience/job you would like to share? Hit us up at tips@cracked.com!

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