One time, a guy walked out of JCPenney with $500 worth of pots and pans on his shoulders, perhaps planning to build his own suit of armor, Ned Kelly-style. When confronted by a security guard, the robber threatened him with a gun. That's when Bob got the call, and ran off to assist:
"I sprint towards him thinking, 'This is going to f*****g hurt, goddamn he's big.' I hit him center mass with my best football tackle possible at the exact same time the other guard jumps onto his upper half. Timber. Subject falls down, and we all pile on top of him. He busts his face all over the rocks, is yelling and spitting blood all over us. We get him cuffed and bring his legs up like a hog tie. We hold him in the snow like that until PD shows up. He yells, cries, and tries to break out of the cuffs (that doesn't happen in real life, by the way). PD arrives and takes him in."
It wasn't nearly as kinky as it sounds.
Turns out the guy had been bluffing about the gun. But that doesn't really matter -- in the eyes of the law, it may as well be the same thing. In general, mall shoplifting is a way bigger deal than you think: If a thief ever lifts more than a couple spare sets of tube socks, chances are they're not just grabbing items for themselves. Instead, they're boosters for organized retail crime rings: