We have each other's backs, too. If someone tries to go to a moped prostitute's apartment, they'll find that all of the neighboring apartments are also filled with prostitutes, as well as an owner who can come and pin down the abuser. Clients who get aggressive can look forward to being dogpiled by call girls, and while that does sound like a hell of a lot of fun, I can assure you it is less so in practice.
The police have no qualms with punishing tourists caught abusing women, and they can totally be reported to American authorities. One of my customers threatened me with a pocket knife when I was 16, and after I yelled out my code word, there were police on the scene in a couple of minutes (Without so much as asking if I was a prostitute, let alone arresting me).
Lisa F. Young/iStock/Getty Images
The code word may or may not have been "KNIFE!"
The man was deported the next day, and last I heard, was arrested on arrival in the United States. There's this misconception that sex tourists can do whatever they want in other countries with impunity, as though that country wouldn't protect its own people over a sexually-frustrated rug salesman from Albuquerque.
NOTE: Diem retired as a prostitute shortly after our interview and opened a moped accessory shop in Ho Chi Minh City.
Evan V. Symon is the interview finder guy at Cracked and asked over 40 prostitutes before finding one willing to talk with him about being a prostitute. If you have an awesome job or experience you would like to talk with Cracked about, hit up the tipline at firstname.lastname@example.org
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