Here is that code:
"Don't advise them to do anything illegal."
It may not have the grandeur of other creeds, but at least ours fits on one tablet.
Literally anything else you do to gouge your fellow man is totally aces. But I'm a human being with what I like to think is a good set of morals, and I started feeling bad about it. In fairness, the callers believed that psychics both: existed and that they plied their trade over the phone rather than winning lotteries or manipulating the stock market. Somebody was going to take advantage of them. Still, though, it's kind of a shitty thing to do. And it wears on you.
I had a four-hour call once. It was almost the entirety of my shift for the night, and I wound up being the one who cut it off. I made some sort of claim about needing to "recharge my powers," but I was really just completely emotionally drained. This elderly woman was going to die soon, and she wanted to check in on all her departed friends first to get a preview of what heaven would be like. She was basically asking me to act out a whole high school reunion full of people I didn't know. I actually thought it was sweet at the time. She said, "I know I'll be in heaven soon, and I want to touch base with all these people, and I need to be sure I'm going to see them there." Of course, I pretended we got in touch with everybody, because the first rule of psychically contacting somebody's dead loved ones is never pretend they're burning in hell. I know you have a great devil-voice impression; this is not the time to use it.
Save him for telemarketing, where he belongs.
I distinctly remember the call that made me quit: a young guy was calling because his parents had just died in a car crash, and he was contemplating suicide. I just couldn't respond. I said something stupid along the lines of, "I see something good for you coming in the near future." Then when the call ended, I looked his number up online, called the local police department, and warned them. Work snapped at me for violating his confidentiality.
That guy wound up pushing me over the edge. I started dropping phone calls because I just couldn't work up the energy to lie. My paychecks were getting smaller and smaller, so I resigned and never made another prediction.
I'm still exactly as psychic as I was when I started the job.
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