"I've seen your phone bill; when's the last time you even called your mother?"
If you're a binge-eater, they've seen the evidence. If you use adult diapers, they've found them. Sarah told us about an ultra-Christian lady she had on her route. The lady had a pretty righteous reputation in town, but Sarah knew her only as the woman who printed out enough bestiality porn to make a 10-volume coffee table book of interspecies erotica. She didn't have any kids, so this wasn't a case of some boner-popping 13-year-old printing out weird s**t on his mom's computer. And it just kept coming -- every week there was more. Why bother to print it out? Why throw it away? Let us pray that we never find out.
Meanwhile, one day on Andy's route a man came out and tossed his garbage into the back of the truck, where it burst open like a dirty pinata, spilling a good 35-gallon bag full of gay porn everywhere. Too much porn, really. And according to Andy, "It was the same every week -- he'd throw away two 50-gallon bags of DVDs and magazines. Pick your fetish and it'd be in there ... we're pretty sure he must have been a porn distributor or something. No one could go through that much on their own."
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Some say he was a porn vigilante, stealing and shredding for the good of the children.