Shayn Nicely

I am most famous for owning a red fur coat, surviving Christian education, writing stuff, having nice ta tas, being a major pothead, being an English geek, getting off on the night sky, my schizophrenic web comic called Bitchface, owning a SHITLOAD of hoodies, causing poltergeist activity, being a Suicide Girl, quitting Suicide Girls, living in Tallahassee, having previously been extremely goth, enjoying coffee, getting crushes on professors, stopping and starting smoking every year, pursuing, believing most major historical events ultimately happened because of aliens, and owning a black Camaro that looks like it won a demolition derby.

I am least famous for my skills in math, staying in places longer than two months, pissing clean, commitment, working out, being able to make straight friends, my super cool tattoos, saving the lives of orphaned woodland creatures, being able to have normal hair, driving AMAZINGLY well, not accidentally cursing in polite conversation, finding my shoes, actually sleeping at night, being slightly autistic (I strongly suspect... as well as Jewish), and publishing the definitive cultural essay "The Two Hundred Dollar Turd," narrated by Kelly Shriver. These are things I can do and have done, but no one knows it. Or if they do know it, they feel an annoying urge not to comment.

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