6 Horrible Chemicals That Are In Absolutely Everything

6

The FDA Found Asbestos In A Popular Brand Of Kids' Makeup

Asbestos is the antagonist in every HGTV show about home remodeling. The U.S. began banning it due to major safety concerns in the 1970s and '80s, but it's still present in older homes in a variety of forms, from duct work and floor tiles to shingles and siding. But as long as you're not huffing dust from the walls of your fixer-upper, you should be good to go, right?

So you'd think, but it can still show up in the weirdest places. In March 2019, FDA testing found asbestos in makeup sold at popular retailers Claire's and Justice, both of which market their products toward children and teens. What's it doing there? We can't be positive, but we're sure it helped many children look their asbestos, and be their asbestos selves.

U.S. Food and Drug AdministrationShowing a girl made up like a skeleton on the packaging is a little on the nose.

As for how the asbestos got into makeup, that's a point worth talc-ing about. Talc is another naturally-occurring substance that is frequently used in cosmetics and other household products. And while the jury is still out on whether talc itself is dangerous, it sometimes contains trace amounts of asbestos fibers, which we know cause a variety of cancers, lung issues, and those mesothelioma ads you always see on TV.

Claire's insists they removed talc from their cosmetics in 2018, but it appears they may have missed some here and there. Hey, anyone who has changed a diaper can sympathize. (We're still staying the hell away from their teen girl makeup, though.)

5

There's BPA In Your Paper Receipts

Bisphenol A (BPA if you're in a hurry) is a chemical that's absolutely terrible for the human body, which is why it's been unceremoniously kicked out of stuff like children's products, plastic food containers, water bottles, aluminum cans, and more. Unfortunately, it's still all over an item those of you who leave the house have probably handled multiple times this week: receipts from stores. It turns out this is hazardous, especially if you touch the receipts right before putting something in your mouth. Like, say, a burger. Mmmm. Be right back. (Wait, shit.)

BPA and its equally-assholish cousin BPS are involved in the printing process for thermal paper, which is used for everything from movie tickets to deli labels. Because this BPA is "loose" and not bonded to the paper, it ends up inside you within minutes, the big floozy. And unlike a lot of chemicals, both BPA and BPS start causing problems at extremely low levels, so a little in your system goes a long -- and very bad -- way.

Hormann, Et. Al./PLOS ONESOLUTION: Always carry a machete so that if you touch a receipt, you can cut off your hand like in a zombie movie.

4

DDT Was Banned Decades Ago, And We Still Eat It Every Day

DDT is very good at killing bugs. Trouble is, it's also good at killing everything else. That's why the EPA banned it almost 50 years ago. And if it's banned, what's there to worry about? It's one of those problems we banished for good, like Nazis or measles! Yeah, about that ...

Schecter, Et. Al./Enviormental Health Perspectives

3

Heavy Metals In Juice Are Making Kids Dumber

Turns out your parents were right about heavy metal rotting your brain. Actual heavy metals of the non-Osbourne variety are in the environment and our food. Most of the time, it's not a big deal and nobody cares, because it's not like the levels are high enough to become toxic ... until they are.

In January 2019, Consumer Reports found high levels of heavy metals like arsenic and lead in 45 varieties of fruit juice. How much is "high"? Five varieties of juice would be toxic to adults who drank a mere four ounces each day. Shit, that's how much we slurp to wash down the other juice we just drank. The levels are even more dangerous to children. And since kids freaking love juice -- 80 percent under the age of three drink it, 74 percent of them once a day or more -- you can see why parents might be worried.

Consumer ReportsIt seems the old "If it looks like piss, it's probably healthy" rule has no scientific validity.

2

It's Not Just Flint -- There's Lead In Water Everywhere

Since its water issues began in 2014, Flint, Michigan has become synonymous with nasty-looking polluted water (and inept institutions). And because Flint's toxic water looked so freaking awful to the naked eye, you might assume that all unsafe water looks like an Arby's toilet. If it's crystal clear and tastes OK, how bad can it be? Glad you asked.

Flint-like water crises are quietly popping up all over the U.S. The authorities in Newark, New Jersey recently had to distribute tens of thousands of emergency water filters while they work on a $75 million lead remediation project. In 2018, hundreds of homes throughout Chicago tested positive for brain-damaging levels of lead, which at least explains why R. Kelly still has a strong fanbase there. In Seattle, 97 percent of schools tested had at least one water source containing unsafe levels of lead. In Pittsburgh ... you get the idea.

1

There's Arsenic In A Ton Of Baby Food

If you're a parent, you're probably familiar with the "arsenic hour" -- that brief period of the day when your otherwise-cute kid devolves into a screaming ball of unexplained fussiness, tempting even the most devoted of parents to either take some arsenic or administer it. Well, based on recent research, it looks like we've been dosing our kids without even realizing it.