15 Off-The-Wall Pieces of Advice From TV Dads

Red Forman makes a great point about nipples.
15 Off-The-Wall Pieces of Advice From TV Dads

We’ve all heard that it takes a village to raise a child. Luckily for all of us TV addicts, that village included a whole heap of father figures. Living vicariously through their TV kids, we soaked up some dos from the good dads, and some what-not-to-dos from the horrible ones. But they were there for their kids, imparting their infinite wisdom on everything, from fighting to stretching before ovulating. 

As we grew up, it started becoming clear that most sitcom dads were incompetent slobs, and some near-perfect TV dads were revealed to be complete monsters. Not these dads. Well, OK, some fall into the TV dad trope, but they had some hilariously useful advice, and we’re here to prove that it didn’t fall on deaf ears. Here’s 15 weird little pearls of wisdom from some of our favorite TV dads. Now go impart this sage advice to your children. (Or don't.)

Philip Banks - 'The Fresh Prince of Bel Air'

Advice from TV dads The Fresh Prince of Bel Air Uncle Phil takes it to the Banks'. I'd like to impart some words that I've always lived by... Mo' money, mo' money, mo' money. CRACKED



Julius Rock - 'Everybody Hates Chris'

Advice from TV dads Everybody Hates Chris Juliu Julius Rock teaches Chris the finer points of budgeting. Unplug that clock, boy! You can't tell time while you sleep! It's two cents an hour! CRACKED

CBS Studios


Hal Wilkerson - 'Malcolm in the Middle'

Advice from TV dads Malcolm in the Middle Hal Wilkerson teaches Malcolm about hard work. You can have anything you want if you're willing to work for it. Just reach for the stars and never let go. I should've told you that a long time ago. And when you write an angry letter, hold on to it for a day. You might not feel the same in the morning. And never invest in a friend's restaurant. Never. CRACKED

20th Television


Alan Harper - 'Two and a Half Men'

Advice from TV dads Two and a Half Men Alan Harper on Jake's first day of Junior High. You're okay. Just don't make eye contact. When the bus comes, don't take a window seat. You don't wanna be trapped by one of these mouth breathers and get pummeled. And be polite to the bus driver. They tend to be damaged people with short fuses. CRACKED

Warner Bros. Television

Clip on YouTube

Al Bundy - 'Married… with Children'

Advice from TV dads Married... With Children Al Bundy on Kelly's cramps. Walk it off. And remember, the next time, stretch before you Ovalate. (We're pretty sure he meant ovulate.) CRACKED

Sony Pictures Television

Clip on YouTube

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