12 Stand-Up Jokes About Depression

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12 Stand-Up Jokes About Depression

Depression is no laughing matter…until it is. It’s a serious illness that affects millions of people, but sometimes those people can find the funny in it. Here are 12 comedians who have managed to take their mental health struggles and find relatable material within it. We would argue that as long as you’re punching up, there’s no subject that’s off limits in comedy. The subject itself doesn’t have to be funny, just the conversation around it. Comedy can help provide relief for mental health. After all, laughter is the best medicine (aside from, you know, real medicine or even like….placebos).

There’s not a shortage of comedians suffering from mental health issues, so let us know if we missed any jokes from comics that you find relatable. Here are 12 of our favorite depression-related jokes, because, hey, we’re fun like that! Know that you’re not alone in your misery, and there will be lighter days.  

Gary Gulman

GARY GULMAN I got very sick with 'the depresh.' ... My wife said, Gary, all you were doing was crying and sleeping. And I get so defensive. I always say, I also watched Better Call Saul. CRACKED

Source: Gary Gulman: The Great Depresh on HBO

Chris Gethard

CHRIS GETHARD I didn't know when I was 11 years old that this thing had a name: Depression. I just thought everybody in fifth grade had an internal monologue like the guy from Taxi Driver. CRACKED

Source: Chris Gethard ‘Career Suicide’ on HBO

Maria Bamford

MARIA BAMFORD I've had many friends and family, sadly, die of suicide, and one thing that always bothers me, though, is that, when there's an obituary for someone who's died of it, there's always the number for the suicide hotline. And I know that's helpful....l've called it myself. But as a person who's trying to kill themselves, it always feels a little condescending. Like, I know what the f- number is. I'm depressed, I'm not a moron. Just seems like, you know, having an obituary for someone who died of drowning and then there's an ad for a raft. You

Source: Maria Bamford: Weakness Is the Brand

Tiffany Haddish

TIFFANY HADDISH I know what depression is, first-hand. I know. I was homeless three different times in my life. I know what the f*** depression is. And they even gave me medication for it. I'mma tell you right now, alright? I don't like that medication. I don't like it at all. I rather be moist and crazy than dry and sane. That medication dry you up! ... Do you know how hard it is to walk fast when your coochie dry? CRACKED

Source: Tiffany Haddish ‘Black Mitzvah’ on Netflix

Neil Brennan

NEAL BRENNAN I think people with depression have the reputation for feeling sorry for themselves or they fell into a bad mood and were too lazy to get out of it. But, believe me, I'm not lazy, nor did I approach this lazily. Like, I went to a psychiatrist and a psychologist. If you don't know the difference, congrats for having a great life. CRACKED

Source: Neil Brennan ‘3 Mics’ on Netflix

Daniel Sloss

DANIEL SLOSS 'll just say things that aren't even hateful, they're just, blah. Back in my day we didn't have depression or anxiety. We just called it being sad, and we got on with our days. All right, cool, that's a medical misdiagnosis. That's the equivalent of saying, Back in my day we didn't have breast cancer. We just called it itchy t*** and we died at 37. CRACKED

Source: Daniel Sloss ‘X’ on HBO

Jim Jeffries

JIM JEFFRIES It's a very selfish thing, depression, because I know my life's good and I can't wrap my brain around it....l've never really had pure happiness like some people do: I'm such a pessimist. When you meet these people who go, You're such a glass-half-empty sort of guy. I'm like, These glass-half-full с-, f-them. I've never met a successful glass-half-full C-. You'll never be anything if you think the glass is half full. If you want to get ahead, walk in the room and go, Why isn't that f-ing glass full? CRACKED

Source: Jim Jeffries ‘Freedumb’ on Netflix 

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