15 Absurd Patriotic Characters In Superhero Comics
![15 Absurd Patriotic Characters In Superhero Comics](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/9/3/856293_320x180.jpg)
Patriotism is a helluva thing. At its most innocent, it can be rooting for your home team and acknowledging your country's flaws while working, voting, and hoping it can become better than its current form. At its worst, it will have superfans that root for everything it does without question or compassion towards outside nations. This Pictofact is about the second part.
Comic books have never been accused of subtlety. By the nature of their medium, they’re big, bright, loud, and colorful — much like the guy next door who wears an American flag cape on the Fourth of July (even though most patriots would think that would be disrespectful, but don’t tell him that). With that comes characters and moments of “patriotism” that are just goddamn insane.
Here are some characters in comic books that represent the absolute dirt worst in American patriotism, which are at best absurd and at worst harmful to others.
The Shield
![Patriotic Superheroes The Shield might need a copyright lawyer. The Shield got his superpowers from a special formula, fought Nazis, and had a bulletproof star-spangled shield on his body-in 1940, a year before Captain America's debut. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/8/0/856280.jpg)
Sources: Public Domain Superheroes, Bleeding Cool
Fighting Yank
![Patriotic Superheroes US 7 HITLER CIAL Fascists fear the Fighting Yank! Grandson of a superhero who helped America's Founding Fathers, Bruce Carter dons a cloak that gives him the strength to bend steel and punch really, really hard. Не uses this power to punch out Nazi spies, because Fighting Yank wasn't a term for violent masturbation back in 1941. CRACKED COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/8/9/856289.jpg)
Source: Cambrian Comics
Uncle Sam
![Patriotic Superheroes THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I AIM TA DO... ...BY KICKIN' YER SORRY ASS ALI THE WAY TA PRISON! Uncle Sam is some kind of... patriotic demon? Uncle Sam is a mythical being created by the Founding Fathers during an occult ritual. At one point he was bound to a talisman, and would take physical form by possessing a dying patriot. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/9/1/856291.jpg)
Sources: IGN, DC Database
U.S. Jones
![Patriotic Superheroes EATURE U.S. Jones is actually named U.S. Jones. Jones is a professional baseball pitcher (the most American job ever) injected with a virus (yikes) to create a race of wondermen(double yikes) to fight in World War II and end domestic crime. SS Like an av angel, U. S. plummeted midst of the CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/9/2/856292.jpg)
Sources: Public Domain Superheroes, Bleeding Cool
Yankee Poodle
![Patriotic Superheroes Yankee Poodle went to town, a-chewing on a bone-y. The patriotic pup is able to repel objects with her magnetic stars, while attracting other objects with magnetic stripes. She' essentially Captain America with Magneto powers - in poodle form. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/8/5/856285.jpg)
Sources: EverybodyWiki, GameSpot
Superpatriot
![Patriotic Superheroes Superpatriot had it rough. Unlike other World War II heroes, John Quincy Armstrong was used as a guinea pig by the Nazis, not the U.S. government. As he kept superheroing after the war, he got chomped up by a shark man and turned into a cyborg. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/9/0/856290.jpg)
Sources: Image Comics Database, League of Comic Geeks
Mister America
![Patriotic Superheroes Mister America is Indiana Jones with a mask and cape. Mister America (A.K.A Americommando) is just a dude named Тех Thompson who beats up Nazis with a bullwhip. Except that his sidekick isn't named Short Round but, uh, Fatman. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/8/4/856284.jpg)
Sources: DC Database, CBR
Liberty Belle
![Patriotic Superheroes Liberty Belle will ring-a-ding every anti-American baddie. While she was later retconned and modernized, the original Liberty Belle got her super powers from the spirit of America after the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia was rung. Comic books, y'all. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/8/7/856287.jpg)
Source: DC Database
Miss America
![Patriotic Superheroes DC MARVEL Miss America So patriotic, both Marvel and DC have one. DC's version of Miss America got her powers after dreaming of the spirit of Lady Liberty, while the Marvel version was struck by lightning during a lab accident. The DC version got the better deal. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/8/8/856288.jpg)
Sources: CBR, Marvel Database, DC Database
Minute-Man
![Patriotic Superheroes BLICATION Minute-Man has the power of owning a star-spangled shirt. Jack Weston is an Army private sent on unsanctioned missions by the U.S. government while wearing a long-sleeved polo shirt with Old Glory on it. At least Captain America has powers (and is a captain). CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/7/9/856279.jpg)
Sources: CBR, Comic Book Plus
American Maid
![Patriotic Superheroes American Maid is the parody we all needed. Created for the animated The Tick, American Maid is the perfect marriage of Captain America and Wonder Woman. As the only competent hero in The City, her prowess at throwing her high heels is silly but deadly. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/8/6/856286.jpg)
Sources: The Tick Wiki
Force of July
![Patriotic Superheroes Don't mess with the Force of July. A secret American government super team fighting not just villains, but anyone against America's best interests in gritty fashion. There's a reason many of them end up on the Suicide Squad. EEDS BUT YOU'RE FINISHED, ANY LAST S TRAITORS --YOU CAN TAKE С EN THAT FROM MAJOR VICTORY AND THE FORCE OF JULY! TY CRACKED COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/8/3/856283.jpg)
Sources: DC Database, DC in the 80s
American Barbarian
![Patriotic Superheroes American Barbarian is a flag-themed He-Man. Meric (as in America) is a muscle-bound brute with red, white, and blue hair that fights zombies, mutants, and robotic dinosaurs in a post- apocalyptic New Earthea. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/7/8/856278.jpg)
Sources: Tom Scioli, American Barbarian
U.S. Avengers
![Patriotic Superheroes A U.S.Avengers assemble! The U.S. government put together Citizen V, Cannonball, Squirrel Girl, Red Hulk, Enigma, and Iron Patriot into their own Avengers team. The oddly Captain America-less team lasted about a year. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/8/1/856281.jpg)
Sources: DC Database, IGN
American Eagle
![Patriotic Superheroes American Eagle (the Indigenous hero, not the clothing line). Navajo Jason Strongbow was blasted with sonic energy by Ulysses Klaw. That combined with the uranium within his tribe's holy mountain to grant Jason superhuman powers (and caused his crossbow to fire energy bolts, for some reason). CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/8/2/856282.jpg)
Sources: Marvel Database, CBR