Oh no, you tripped and fell into a magical world full of blonde women from all your favorite media! What are you going to do! Just like Tron Man from Tron or Player One from Ready Player One, it’s time for you to figure out the rules of this game and return to the real world! With the help of all of the most magical girls in the world… that are blonde.

Turns out, it’s a pretty common thing, someone with pure golden hair being a super magical person. Maybe it has to do with Aryan idealism, with sun-worship, or with blondes just looking cool, but blonde hair = super powerful magic user is a pretty ingrained thing in the media. Which is lucky for you, because that means you have more coven members to woo to your side and when potions bubble and wands come out, who knows where friends lead… UwU.

When the seance hand-holding commences, who do you want sitting by your side? Here are the 17 most magical and most blonde witches and magic users around to join your coven now that you’ve isekai’d yourself into a dating sim.

Galadriel (The Lord of the Rings)

Dating Profiles of Magic Blondes Galadriel THE LORD OF THE RINGS Bearer of one of the Rings of Power, one of the mightiest of all the Elves. Magical claim to fame Power of preservation and concealment from evil with her ring Nenya. Likes The Fellowship, shiny stuff, tree houses. Dislikes Weird gods, having her hair touched. CRACKED.COM

Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon)

Dating Profiles of Magic Blondes Usagi Tsukino SAILOR MOON Sailor-themed, astrological punisher of bad guys. Magical claim to fame Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss. Likes Sweets, cute boys, kindness, weird cats, helping people, natural satellites. Dislikes School, not sleeping. CRACKED.COM

Thomasin (The VVitch)

Dating Profiles of Magic Blondes Thomasin THE VVITCH A young girl unfairly lambasted for a family's bad luck until they all turn on her and she takes refuge in power and darkness. Magical claim to fame Can levitate, maybe speak through goats, disappear. Likes The taste of butter. Dislikes Goats. CRACKED.COM

Sabrina Spellman (Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina)

Dating Profiles of Magic Blondes Sabrina Spellman TEENAGE WITCH The latest daughter in the magical Spellman line of witches. Magical claim to fame Rules Hell. Likes Twinks and transes, gothic clothing, stealing AHS' whole bit. Dislikes The patriarchy, being normal, pre-Chris Pine Star Trek. CRACKED.COM

Tinker Bell (Peter Pan)

Dating Profiles of Magic Blondes Tinker Bell PETER PAN A tinkerer and dispenser of magical dust, she's also quite fiery, jealous and opinionated. A perfect coven companion Magical claim to fame Can make you fly, is small. Likes Twinks, screwing people over. Dislikes Piracy, other women. CRACKED.COM

Rapunzel (Tangled)

Dating Profiles of Magic Blondes Rapunzel TANGLED Princess and beloved of a thief and scoundrel, friend to a chameleon and a group of rapscallions, Rapunzel is one of the most well-loved characters. Magical claim to fame Can heal and bring back youth with hair, fly and glow after touching moon rocks. Likes Freedom, hiking. Dislikes Heights. CRACKED.COM

Sylvie the Enchantress (Loki)

Dating Profiles of Magic Blondes Sylvie the Enchantress LOKI A timeline refugee hunting for meaning and purpose in a world that isn't her own. Magical claim to fame Daughter of Laufey, ruler of Jotunheim. Adopted by Odin Allfather. Trained by Freya, mother and witch. Confused sentient entropy. Created the Multiverse. Likes Kablooie, herself Dislikes Bureaucracy, Jonathan Majors CRACKED.COM

Sarah Sanderson (Hocus Pocus)

Dating Profiles of Magic Blondes Sarah Sanderson HOCUS POCUS One of the three Sanderson sisters (and obviously Sarah Michelle Gellar), a wicked witch of the woods, using and manipulating those around her. Magical claim to fame Immortality, singing with her sisters. Likes Blood. Dislikes Aging. CRACKED.COM

Illyana Rasputin (Magik) (X-Men)

Dating Profiles of Magic Blondes Illyana Rasputin X-MEN Colossus' sister. Magik's lesbianism is only implied. Magical claim to fame Ruled Limbo, can teleport, has a cool Hell sword. Likes Big swords, dragons, teaching. Dislikes Rasputin. CRACKED.COM

Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter)

Dating Profiles of Magic Blondes Luna Lovegood HARRY POTTER A studious and well-read student of magic with many extracurricular activities, including a fan club for the head master. Magical claim to fame Helped stop an evil wizard from taking over a school. Likes Bonding with weirdos, overly long gags, books Dislikes Transphobes (probably), losing. CRACKED.COM

Jeannie (I Dream of Jeannie)

Dating Profiles of Magic Blondes Jeannie I DREAM OF JEANNIE A genie. Magical claim to fame She's a genie. Likes Genie stuff. Dislikes Annoying humans. CRACKED.COM

Glinda the Good (The Wizard of Oz, Wicked)

Dating Profiles of Magic Blondes Glinda THE WIZARD OF OZ, WICKED Glinda is one of the top magic users around, serving as of counsel to the government in Wicked. Magical claim to fame Pointing out some shoes were dope. Likes Leading you on pointless quests Dislikes Heterosexuality. CRACKED.COM

The Blue Fairy/Fairy Godmother (Cinderella, Pinocchio)

Dating Profiles of Magic Blondes The Fairy CINDERELLA, PINOCCHIO Yes, we are assuming both are the same person. Magical claim to fame Turned a mouse into a horse, a puppet into a person. Likes Sad kids. Dislikes Mean parents. CRACKED.COM

Cordelia Foxx (American Horror Story)

Dating Profiles of Magic Blondes Cordelia Foxx AHS Teacher to a host of witches, Cordelia helps save the entire world. Magical claim to fame She's the Supreme witch in existence. The Lady of the Seven Wonders. Likes Helping others, good music, gardens. Dislikes Sunglasses, hell. CRACKED.COM

Alice Quinn (The Magicians)

Dating Profiles of Magic Blondes Alice Quinn THE MAGICIANS The quiet librarian everyone has a crush on. She only dates men who are dumb enough to make her feel smart (which isn't hard). Magical claim to fame A magical genius. Became immortal for a bit. Likes Milo from Atlantis, reliable people. Dislikes Her parent's orgies. CRACKED.COM

Anya Jenkins (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Dating Profiles of Magic Blondes Anya Jenkins BUFFY A former witch turned demon turned back to witch, Anya manages a magic bookshop and can help you find anything you need. Magical claim to fame Can make your wishes come true, including rewriting all of reality. Likes There's gotta be something... Money? Money. Dislikes Trolls, demons, thieves. CRACKED.COM

The White Witch (Narnia)

Dating Profiles of Magic Blondes The White Witch NARNIA Jadis, a former queen somewhere distant, takes over Narnia and defeats the king. Magical claim to fame Destroyed an entire world with one curse. Likes Fur coats. Dislikes That TikTok sound that goes oh no, our table, it's broken. CRACKED.COM

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