Congratulations, you’re starting a new business! You came up with a product or service that the world desperately needs, and that you’re uniquely equipped to provide. You managed to turn a series of electrical sparks up in your meat computer into an actual thing. You’re an alchemist. You’re more than an alchemist – you’ve made something… from nothing. You’re a wizard!

Now all you need is a good name. Something catchy, something that rolls off the tongue, something that lends itself well to a logo. Here’s where you run into trouble. It feels like all the good names are taken! And with PC culture these days, you have to make sure not to offend anybody.

… or do you? Maybe courting controversy is the way to go here! Yeah; if they’re too woke to patronize your business, you don’t need ‘em! On opening day, you only want the hippest of the hip filling your store. You can’t wait for the moment you get to swing open the front door and say “Welcome to…

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