Fictional characters can maim, torture, explode, or crush each other in oversized trash compactors, but as soon as they don't treat their little, furry companions with the respect and love they deserve, we have a real problem. 

The Grinch HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS CRACKED.COM We get that you have a legitimate grievance against the annoying sub-species that live in the valley below your mountain stronghold, but the desolate, snowy cave you sleep in is no place for what appears to be a completely normal mutt.

Ron Burgundy ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDY CRACKED.COM This just in: Don't let your 12 pound dog eat an entire wheel of cheese. It's irresponsible, even if it's impressive. Driving with your dog in the front seat unsecured is also careless, but we'll give this a pass since it's the '70s.

Ace Ventura ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE CRACKED COM It's admirable that Ace has rescued a bunch of animals that were probably not being properly cared for, but how better off are all these critters in his cramped apartment? Not to mention the fact that he has to hide any trace of their existence from the landlord.

Emily Elizabeth CLIFFORD THE BIG RED DOG CRACKED COM Uh, hello, your dog is the size of a dinosaur. Once your pet has to duck down to go through a doorway, it's time to admit you don't have the resources to take care of it. We'd hate to live in the neighborhood where this monster takes their massive bowel movements.

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Jon Arbuckle YOU ARE GOING TO GIVE BIRTH TO GARFIELD CONGRATOLATIONS, A FINE, HEALTHY LITTER OF MR. ARBUCKLE PUPPIES I HATE n 1990 PAWS NC.AI PUPPIES! JYM DAViS 5-30 CRACKED.COM In the 46 years since his first appearance, we haven't seen Garfield eat cat food once. Also, 46 years? The original Garfield died and has been replaced a dozen times over at this point, which means there's been an unbroken chain of animal abuse spanning generations.

Shaggy SCOOBY DOO, WHERE ARE YOU! CRACKED.COM They don't show it, but we think we're all on the same page here: stop getting high with your dog. Don't deny it, Shaggy, no one eats as many dog treats as you and still has any shred of their sobriety left.

Eustace Bagge COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG CRACKED.COM In a fit of rage over failing to impregnate his wife during her childbearing years and effectively killing his lineage, this backwoods hillbilly intentionally traumatizes their small dog and then admonishes him for being cowardly. This is psychopathic behavior.

The Starks GAME OF THRONES CRACKED.COM Each Stark child, including Jon Snow, was given a direwolf pup at the start of the series, and charged with their care. By the end of the show, only one of these characters still had their wolf, Ghost, the rest are either dead or released. These are bad averages.

Mickey Mouse DISNEY CRACKED COM Isn't Pluto the same species as Goofy? We don't think it even matters how well Mickey takes care of Pluto, as soon as Goofy shares a scene with the canine it becomes incredibly awkward. It would be like Donald Duck having a pet mouse that runs around pantless.

Billy Peltzer GREMLINS CRACKED.COM There are only three rules when caring for your Mogwai, which is much less than other pets, and you couldn't even make it a week before your town was all but wiped out by the tiny cretins. You've managed to convince the only person who knows the Mogwai's real history, Mr. Wing, that the entirety of Western civilization is not ready to care for the creatures.

Homer Simpson THE SIMPSONS CRACKED COM Greyhounds need a lot of exercise, even ones that finished their last few dog races dead last. Despite the needs of the breed, Santa's Little Helper is cared for by a man so lazy he intentionally gained a comedic amount of weight to be able to work remotely.

Charlie Brown's parents PEANUTS CRACKED.COM Не makes the most of it, but out in the snow is no place to leave your dog. If you're cold, they're cold - take them inside. Also, you clearly just feed him animal bones, which make for a good treat but should not comprise their entire diet.

Granny LOONEY TUNES CRACKED.COM The doddering old bitty is too ancient to care for this, or any, animal if she is so unaware of her surroundings she doesn't notice that the little yellow bird is being hunted at all times by a vicious tom cat.

Mr. Mertle THE SANDLOT CRACKED.COM As the owner of Hercules, you should be aware that the neighborhood kids think he is a murderous Hell beast. Maybe they think that because you leave him outside in your dirt backyard all day, letting him chew on every toy and piece of sport equipment that flies over your fence.

Doc Brown BACK TO THE FUTURE CRACKED.COM Do not use your dog to perform scientific experiments, especially when you're dealing with time travel. What we don't need right now is for the universe to end because you sent a sheepdog one minute into the future.

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