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45 Time Comparisons That Broke Our Brains

By:: Brian C. Miller; Cracked Writers

August 20, 2023

45 Time Comparisons That Broke Our Brains

Did you know that sharks are older than trees? Also, we’re sorry to break it to you, but you got older while reading this sentence. We can commiserate, though, we got older while writing it. Time keeps passing, and we keep getting surprised by it.

So we’re going to totally break your (and our) brains by looking into some of the weirdest time comparisons ever. Like, when you think of Ancient Egypt, do you think of the pyramids and Cleopatra? Turns out they were centuries apart. And that’s just for starters, here are some other wild comparisons showing that time doesn’t make any sense…

45

World War II 1939-1945 SEND IN THE BATMAN 1939 - CRACKED.COM — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

44

HAPPY CRACKED.COM DAYS debuted in 1974, and celebrated life in the Fifties... ONLY TWO DECADES EARLIER THAN IT AIRED. A similar show today would be set during the Clinton presidency, and the soundtrack might feature Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Vanilla Ice... — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

43

OXFORD UNIVERSITY IS OLDER THAN THE AZTEC EMPIRE The construction of Tenochtitlán on Lake Texcoco in 1325 marks the beginning of the Aztec civilization. Oxford has been teaching students since 1096. CRACKED.COM — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

42

The United States is arguably the biggest power in the world today; pretty good for such a short-lived empire. With only 240 years of independence, the US is less than halfway to the top 10 longest-lived empire list (currently at #10 is the Portuguese Empire, which lasted for 584 years). CRACKED.COM — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

41

CRACKED.COM When Cleopatra was born... ... the pyramids were already older than Cleopatra's reign is to us. — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

40

WE'RE WAY CLOSER 000'000'000'000'000'000'000'000'000'000'OL0 TO THE BIG BANG THAN TO THE END OF THE UNIVERSE. The universe is 13.8 billion years old-and that's positively microscopic compared to the time it has yet to go. Today Big Bang CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

39

CRACKED.COM UBS The last time the Chicago Cubs won the World Series (1908) the Ottoman Empire still existed. — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

38

CRACKED.COM 1970s-1980s Video games NINTENDO IS AS OLD AS THE EIFFEL TOWER. M 1889 Playing cards — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

37

GRACKED.COM MARK HAMILL was older when he reprised his iconic role of LUKE SKYWALKER for 2015's STAR WARS : THE FORCE AWAKENS than ALEC GUINNESS was in his role of OBI-WAN KENOBI for 1977's STAR WARS : A NEW HOPE! — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

36

THE B-52 HAS BEEN FLYING FOR OVER HALF THE TIME WE'VE HAD AIRPLANES. 68 years and counting 1952 49 years 1903 CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

35

All the Brady kids are now older than Ann B. Davis was when she played their CRACKED COM housekeeper. — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

34

Fall of Constantinople (Eastern Roman Empire) 1453 THE ROMAN EMPIRE WAS STILL AROUND WHEN THE PRINTING PRESS WAS INVENTED. Printing press 1440s CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

33

Seconds Are Actually Slowing Down! Ever felt like mere seconds were taking forever? Well, time is actually slowing down. This is because the Earth's rotation is slowing down, and that makes a day longer. Now, of course we have a solution for this issue. We now add a leap second! So we can keep calculating seconds as they always have been. CRACKED COM — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

32

1999 THE MATRIX IS OLDER THAN TRON WAS WHEN 17 years THE MATRIX CAME OUT. 1982 GRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

31

WHY DOES TIME SEEM TO GO BY FASTER THE OLDER WE GET? SEVERAL HYPOTHESES HAVE BEEN ADVANCED TO ACCOUNT FOR THIS. ONE OF THE MORE POPULAR VIEWS IS THE ONE PUT FORWARD IN 1897 BY FRENCH PHILOSOPHER PAUL JANET. ACCORDING TO JANET, WE GAUGE TIME IN PROPORTION TO THE LIFE WE HAVE ALREADY LIVED. WHEN YOU'RE FOUR, A YEAR IS WHEN YOU'RE FORTY, ON THE OTHER A WHOLE FOURTH OF YOUR LIFE. HAND, A YEAR IS ONLY A FORTIETH NO WONDER IT FEELS SO LONG! OF YOUR LIFE. PEANUTS, REALLY. GRACKED.COM — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

30

THE UNIVERSITY OF OXFORD IS OLDER THAN THE AZTEC EMPIRE. 15th century m Tax 9th century GRACKED COM — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

29

Contemporary artist RACHEL SUSSMAN has developed a project called - THE OLDEST LIVING THINGS IN THE WORLD' where she photographs continuously living organisms 2,000 YEARS OLD & OLDER as a way to encourage people to think in terms of deeper time scales One example is a CLONAL COLONY of QUAKING ASPEN TREES that look like a forest but is only really just one tree that is over 80,000 YEARS OLD The oldest living thing she could find? SIBERIAN ACTINOBACTERIA that has been living and growing for over HALF A MILLION YEARS CRACKED.COM — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

28

CRACKED.COM 4081.5442 We the 1791 adidas BERETTA HAD BEEN MAKING GUNS FOR domestic IAL 265 years in Postering me TWO AND A HALF CENTURIES WHEN 1526 THE SECOND can AMENDMENT WAS Lake delen RATIFIED. Persons mesentulives and be — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

27

When Johannes Gutenberg introduced the printing press with moveable type to Europe, the Roman Empire was still around. (and would continue to be for another 13 years or so). CRACKED COM — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

26

CRACKED.COM SLU 54km the M*A*S*H (1972-1983) th Val 6 M*A*S*H LASTED OVER THREE TIMES LONGER THAN THE WAR IT WAS Korean War SET DURING. (1950-1953) — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

25

During her time as the longest- reigning monarch in British history, Queen Elizabeth II has witnessed the United States change Presidents 11 times. With 33rd President Harry S Truman CRACKED.COM With 44th President Barack Obama — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

24

CRACKED.COM 2020 Around 5,000 THE SATELLITE satellites POPULATION HAS GROWN A BIT IN 60- SOMETHING YEARS. 1957 Sputnik1 1 — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

23

JAN - FEB MAR APR As the universe is estimated to be over 13 BILLION years old, if this time period is represented by a cosmic calendar, with the - Big - I Bang WITH occurring on JANUARY I, 00:00:01, then all of recent human history will only have occurred at the VERY LAST SECOND OF THE LAST MINUTE MAY JULY JUNE AUG OF DECEMBER 31 This may very well answer the question of why we haven't been visited by aliens yet SEPT OCT NOV DEC - They may have already - - come in the past, but FOUND NO — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

22

CRACKED.COM December November October IF YOU COULD FIT September THE UNIVERSE'S August ENTIRE HISTORY IN July A SINGLE YEAR, June 13.8 billion years HUMANITY May WOULDN'T APPEAR April UNTIL THE LAST March SECOND OF February DECEMBER 31ST. January — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

21

We The People for of the insure domestic Tranquitity provide and our Postinity, do ordain and establish the this common Constitution defence, By the time Officer the Second - Amendment darke - officer = La was - Lane 4 ratified, de Ford محمد Handel عسكل del - Engly la Spices homing 950 shall A - - سحمو of مسكر - Soarch س baga % or سكر Beretta had been making guns my for over two and a half centuries. GRACKED COM — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

20

GRACKED COM Trump Obama Bush Clinton Bush Reagan Carter QUEEN ELIZABETH Ford II HAS SEEN 12 U.S. Nixon PRESIDENTS Johnson DURING HER TIME Kennedy Eisenhower AS A MONARCH. — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

19

WHAT IF WE TOLD YOU THERE ARE ADULTS out THERE WITH CHILDREN OF THEIR OWN WHO HADN'T BEEN BORN WHEN THESE EPISODES FIRST AIRED? TOW YEP. THESE ALL CAME OUT 23 YEARS AGO. CRACKED.COM — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

18

1950s-Last veterans die, aged over 100 World War II 1939-1945 PEOPLE WHO FOUGHT IN THE CIVIL WAR WERE STILL ALIVE AT THE TIME OF WORLD WAR II. Civil War 1861-1865 CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

17

45 Time Comparisons That Broke Our Brains — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

16

CRACKED.COM 2020 1974 HAPPY DAYS WOULD BE SET AROUND THE YEAR 2000 TODAY. Happy Days celebrated the '50s in the '70s- SO a similar show made in 2020 would feature music by Eminem, Papa Roach, and Blink-182. — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

15

Ever wonder why flies have such great reaction times? It's because they see in slow motion. The perceived speed of time is determined by species. Generally, the smaller the animal, the slower it perceives time. This helps small animals avoid danger, but requires more energy and a higher metabolism. So, while the lifespan of a fly might be short, the amount of information it processes in that time is enormous. CRACKED COM — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

14

CRACKED.COM CHUCK NORRIS IS OLDER THAN 1947 THE MODERN 1940 STATE OF ISRAEL. — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

13

CRACKED COM THE MATRIX IS AS OLD TODAY... ... AS TRON WAS WHEN THE MATRIX WAS RELEASED. — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

12

CRACKED.COM THE SUN IS ABOUT 20 YEARS OLD. 20 galactic years, that is. In 4.6 billion years, the Sun Sun has only gone 20 times around 20 years the Milky Way's center. Universe 61 years — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

11

45 Time Comparisons That Broke Our Brains — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

10

CRACKED.COM JAMAICA Rio2016 BOLT SINCE EARLY HUMANS 400,000 years FIRST APPEARED ON EARTH, USAIN BOLT COULD HAVE SPRINTED TO PLUTO AND BACK 14 TIMES. — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

9

M Will Smith is now older than James Avery (Uncle Phil) was at the beginning of The Fresh Prince of BelAir. CRACKED.COM — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

8

CRACKED.COM 25 11 PLANCK TIME 23 IS THE SHORTEST UNIT OF TIME POSSIBLE. DA There are more units of Planck time in one second than seconds have passed since the Big Bang. 20 9L 435,196,800,000,000,000 seconds 13.8 billion years ago — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

7

Ralph Macchio, who played The Karate Kid's Daniel LaRusso, is older now... Than Pat Morita was when he played Daniel's wise sensei, Mr. Miyagi. CRACKED.COM — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

6

THE FIRST PRINTING PRESS IS WAY CLOSER TO COMPUTERS 20th century BC 15th century BC THAN TO THE 8 S D INVENTION OF PAPER. U T K But N 2nd century ВСЕ CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

5

GRAGKED.COM People who fought in the American Civil War... ... were still alive by the time of World War II. — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

4

20th century 400 years 16th century HANDGUNS WERE INVENTED CLOSER TO THE ATOM BOMB THAN TO 700 years GUNPOWDER. 9th century CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

3

THE LAST CIVIL WAR WIDOW DIED IN 2008 Maudie Hopkins wasn't alive during the Civil War, but her (much older) husband fought for the Confederacy. She never received a Civil War pension. But those still existed until 2003, when the second-last widow, Gertrude Janeway, passed away. (She got $70 a month until the end.) GRAGKED.COM — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

2

CRACKED.COM GUIDINGLIGHT 18,262 radio and TV episodes YOU'D NEED 16 MONTHS TO WATCH EVERY EPISODE OF CBS'S GUIDING LIGHT, THE LONGEST-RUNNING SERIES EVER. As a comparison, watching every episode of The Simpsons would take you just 10 days. THE SIMPSONS 673 episodes as of 2020 — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

1

GRACKED.COM Trilobites lived on Earth for about 270 million years. That's longer than the time spent between the very first dinosaur and the present. (This is a specimen of Dicranurus monstrosus, not Cthulhu) — Source: 27 Facts That Will Shatter Your Perception Of Time

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