Lying is a learned art form that children (hopefully) aren't masterful in. This is why, when they try, the results can be hilarious. We asked Cracked readers on Facebook, “When you were a child, what was the stupidest lie you told?” Here are 17 funny and absurd fibs. 

TELL US NOW. IT Daniel S. tells US, In kindergarten I was supposed to learn the word to a song for the Christmas pageant for homework When the teacher asked me why I did not learn the words, I said my father was playing the trumpet too loud. My dad has never played an instrument in his life. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Tim C. tells US, In kindergarten one day, I convinced everyone but my teacher that I wasn't Tim, I was his twin brother George who took his place for the day. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Mark S. says, In 4th grade I was caught by a teacher forging my father's name. I misspelled his name! My teacher says, 'Wait! Your dad's name is Sam-Mule?! CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Dori R. tells US, I told my grandma a cat followed me home, but I was covered in scratches. CRACKED.COM

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TELL US NOW. Mary K. says, My mom walked in on me with a pair of scissors in one hand and a giant chunk of my bangs in the other hand. I told her my hair just fell off. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Brad H. says, When I was little my grandfather built US a freehouse. My little brother, who I couldn't stand, was playing on the ground beneath the freehouse. I decided to whip it out and proceeded to pee on him. He ran inside crying and told my parents what I did, and when they asked my why I did that to him, I ended up blaming the dog. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. April S. shares, In 5th grade, I wanted eyeglasses so bad. Don't know why. So one day I wore my stepdad's red safety glasses (complete with side guards) to school and told everyone they were prescription. Not sure why no one believed me... CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Gavin F. tells US, I told other kids that my dad was artist Mort Walker, creator of Hi and Lois. No one knew who I was talking about, which made me feel very superior. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Srem! Brian B. says, When I was six, I told everyone in my class that my birthday was on Halloween so that I would get a class party. My birthday is in July so I knew I had no chance of ever getting one. My mom wound up ratting me out in front of the entire class during our Halloween parade. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Helen H. says, My mom had 'one stick of gum at a time' rule, but I always stuffed in three. And when she asked me how many were in my mouth I'd always say 'Two!' Like, I was bad, but I wasn't THAT bad. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Guy L. shares, When I was in 3rd grade, at the beginning of the school year, the teacher asked every kid in the classroom what they had done during the summer. I began telling that I went to France, visiting Paris, seeing the Eiffel Tower, and basically a whole lot of bullshit. I thought I got away with it. But a couple of weeks later, in a parents-teacher meeting, the latter said to them, Why is your kid lying so blatantly that way? CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Travis P. says, I was double-jointed and could do weird tricks with my arms... and I told people I got that way after breaking both arms, jumping off the house while flapping and trying to fly. What I thought was a cool story must've made me sound really stupid. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. TIRAHO APTE JoeN Nancy R. tells US, My dad had a nifty dime bank. One day, I decided to empty it, and of course my dad realized it was empty and accused me. I told him the mailman did it, so he and I had to wait for the mailman for me to apologize to the mailman and own up to the theft...The poor mailman, who didn't know what was going on! CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. ONTRA PLAY SELECT Brian N. says, I told a bunch of kids in my school in 4th grade that my grandmother invented the NES game Contra. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Chris L.'s silliest lie as a child was that my father was the world chess champion. When I was asked what his name was, I said it was too Russian to pronounce. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Dustin S. says, I caught the living room rug on fire by playing in the fireplace while my mom was napping. I used snow to put the fire out then put a chair on top of the burned spot to hide it. In my five-year-old mind, that chair would just live in front of the fireplace and no one would ever notice that I burned a big hole in the rug. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. A.M.J. shares, In second grade I showed up to school with a bandage on my head and told everyone I had amnesia. That lasted all of an hour when the teacher busted me for remembering what we did the day before. CRACKED.COM
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