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"Damn these electric sex pants!"

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15 Unexpected Bullet Points in Celebrities' Resumes

By:: Andres Diplotti; Cracked Writers

January 24, 2021

15 Unexpected Bullet Points in Celebrities' Resumes

The whole deal about being a celebrity is that people know what you do for a living. Your job history is public, for everyone to take a look at if we want to. The issue here, however, is that often we don’t want to -- or in any case, we aren’t very thorough about it. When we are, we find surprising stuff like this...

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Terry Crews was a courtroom sketch artist. Terry loves drawing! Crews is an amazing artist - his first college scholarship was actually for art, not for sports. One of his first jobs was as a courtroom sketch artist in his native Flint, Michigan. — Source: Artnet News

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David Duchovny wrote a novel about a cow. Many celebs leverage their fame into book deals - but few of those books are about coWs trying to escape to India. Weirdness connoisseur Fox Mulder was just the right guy to write such a book, titled Holy Cow. — Source: The Guardian

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CRACKED.COM Neil Young is a model train innovator. Young really likes model trains and not just in a playing with them capacity. He was part owner of adeveloping company, and is named as co-inventor in several patents- including one for a control system for disabled people. — More: 7 Celebrities Who Invented Amazing Things on the Side

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Zeppo Marx created a heart attack alarm. Unhappy with being the least funny Marx brother, Zeppo quit the act and devoted his time to invent stuff. One of his most notable devices was a cardiac pulse rate monitor, which would sound an alarm if your heart rate started doing slapstick — More: 7 Celebrities Who Invented Amazing Things on the Side

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Tom Green was a rapper (and good at it). The former edgelord king (mostly known today as Drew Barrymore's annoying ex) was part of the hip-hop Organized Rhyme - which was actually kind of a big deal in Hardy. his native Canada in digier the early nineties. — More: 8 Celebrities Who Are Great at the Last Thing You'd Expect

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Prince Charles wrote a children's book. Charles, Princes of Wales has one job -- and that is to be Charles, Prince of Wales. But he also wrote The Old Man of Lochnagar, a children’s book that was later made into a TV special starring Robbie Coltrane. — Sources: Royal Collection Trust, IMDb

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Billy Crudup was Mastercard's voice. Intrinsic field subtractor: millions of dollars. Getting god-like powers: priceless. That voice you just heard in your head was Billy Doctor Manhattan Crudup, who was in Mastercard ads for years. — Source: The Hollywood Reporter

8

Maya Angelou was a singer. In the 1950s, the future poet and activist showed off her sultry voice singing calypso in San Francisco clubs. She released an album and was in the movie Calypso Heat Wave. — Sources: The World, Movie trailer on YouTube

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J. J. Abrams secretly worked on Casper. Years before restarting both Star Trek and Star Wars, Abrams did an uncredited rewrite for the family movie about dead children. It was through that gig that he met Steven Spielberg, who helped launch his career big time. CRACKED.COM — Source: The Independent

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Jon Stewart was a promising soccer player. Had Stewart not broken his knee, he might have gone on to play in the World Cup. He was good enough to represent the U.S in the Pan American Games, in Brazil - and his team made it to the finals. — More: 8 Celebrities Who Are Great at the Last Thing You'd Expect

5

Joe Pesci has a long musical career. Pesci had a presence in the Jersey music scene long before he took up acting. When he put out a jazz album in 2019, that didn't just happen out of the blue (and it wasn't his first, either). — Source: Esquire

4

Jason Stathan was a professional diver. Before The Transporter, Statham was … um … The Faller into Pools. And he wasn’t some dilettante, either -- he got 12th place in the 1992 World Championship, which is almost as impressive as his rugged looks. — Sources: IGN, YouTube

3

Ellie Kemper used to write for The Onion. You know her as Erin from The Office, or Kimmy Schmidt from, well, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. And if The Onion carried bylines, you'd also know her as the writer of headlines such as this: — Source: Yahoo Entertainment

2

Bill Murray played the Human Torch on radio. 4 Superhero radio plays were still a thing in the mid-'70s - and a struggling, pre-fame Murray found himself pretending to flame on for a full ten episodes (which you can listen to onlinel) — Source: Entertainment Weekly

1

Anthony Hopkins has composed film scores. Sir Anthony has appeared in several metric tons of movies - and even scored a couple, having toyed with composition and classical music from an early age. — Source: The National

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