34 Baffling and Bizarro Headlines That Won’t Help You Find Order or Reason in This Chaotic Universe

Take a break from all the depressing news and try a little wacky news instead!
34 Baffling and Bizarro Headlines That Won’t Help You Find Order or Reason in This Chaotic Universe

Look, officer! That five-year-old you caught driving was just trying to buy a present for his sister! Sure, it makes for a fun headline, but you could’ve just let him do his thing. Think of his poor sister who doesn’t have a present now! 

Here’s that and many more strange headlines from around the world…

The Giant Cargo Ship That Got Stuck in the Suez Canal

WEIRD WORLD A giant cargo ship ran aground and got stuck in the Suez Canal... again. But this time, tugboats got it out pretty quickly - and while the ship was there, other ships were redirected into another lane. CRACKED.COM

Source: AZCentra

The Woman Who Called in a Bomb Threat So She Didn’t Miss Her Flight

WEIRD WORLD A woman late for her flight tried claiming there was a bomb on the plane. But the plan backfired, and she not only didn't make it onto the plane in time, she got arrested and ordered to undergo a mental health evaluation. CRACKED.COM

Source: SFGate

The Men Who Trained Monkeys to Be Professional Pickpockets

WEIRD WORLD In New Delhi, two men used trained monkeys to steal money. They got caught after a man reported that three guys carrying monkeys surrounded him and stole 6,000 rupees ($80) from him.

Source: AlArabiya

The Florida Resort That Suddenly Shut Down in the Middle of Spring Break

WEIRD WORLD A Florida resort suddenly closed and kicked out all the spring break guests. CHENS W30 8660 On Thursday, April 1st, employees at Champions World Resort started knocking on guests' doors and telling them to pack up and leave by 4 PM, because the resort was sold. CRACKED.COM

Source: ABC

The Paul Ryan Misquote That Sparked Outrage

The Hill ran this headline, quoting Paul Ryan in a way that sparked public outrage. THE The Hill LLLLI @thehill Ryan: Puerto Rico needs to get back o

The South Dakota Teachers Who Staged Their Own Squid Games

WEIRD WORLD South Dakota teachers played a ridiculous, Squid Game-type game. They had to scramble to grab dollar bills, which would go towards funding their classrooms. The game's sponsor apologized afterwards. CRACKED.COM

Source

The One Good Thing About the Pandemic

WEIRD WORLD The pandemic brought one good thing to France: fewer burned cars. Normally, lots of cars get torched on New Year's Eve in France - but, due to the pandemic, that number was way lower. CRACKED.COM

Source

The Five-Year-Old Caught Driving

WEIRD WORLD A five-year-old caught driving had the most adorable explanation for doing that. Не told cops that he was just out trying to buy a present for his sister, apparently. CRACKED.COM

Source

The Montreal School That Strip-Searched Its Students

WEIRD WORLD In a Montreal school, staff stripped students all the way down to their underwear. Apr CUN It was a truly ridiculous attempt at searching them for vaping products. CRACKED.COM

Source

The Wild Boars Roaming Suburban Rome

WEIRD WORLD A group of 13 wild boars were spotted roaming the suburbs of Rome, Italy. Rome's mayoral elections are coming up, so this moved discussions of the supposed state of decay of The Eternal City to the forefront. CRACKED.COM

Source: The Guardian

The Woman Who Wouldn’t Stop Claiming She Saved the Lives of an Afghan Girls’ Robotics Team

WEIRD WORLD A lawyer had to ask an Oklahoma woman to stop claiming she's a rescuer. KABUL AIRPORT Jis J ESSE The woman apparently overstated her help in the Afghan girls' robotics team's escape from Kabul, and their organization's lawyer had to step in. CRACKED.COM

Source: The Hill

The Political Press Conference Interrupted by a Sex Toy Drone

WEIRD WORLD An Albuquerque mayoral candidate's press conference got attacked by a sex toy drone. It became so distracting from the sound and everything I couldn't really get my point across, the candidate complained, accusing his rival of being behind it. CRACKED.COM

Source: abq.news

The Felonious Goat That Would’t Leave Tim Hortons

WEIRD WORLD In Canada, they arrested a goat that didn't want to leave a Tim Hortons. NO BIKING AREA 24 The cops tried to lead the goat outside, but it kept going back in, probably because it was cold, so they bundled it into their car (and eventually got it back to its owners). CRACKED.COM

Source: CTV

The Leopards That Escaped from a Chinese Safari Park

WEIRD WORLD A safari park in Huangzhou, China, hid the fact that leopards escaped from it. (illustration) Two of the three escaped leopards were captured, and the park is sincerely sorry for not saying anything about it earlier. CRACKED.COM

Source: Sky

The Weird-Shaped Coffins in New Zealand

WEIRD WORLD People in Wellington, New Zealand, are starting to use really weird shapes for coffins. So far, those shapes have included a donut, a Lego block, a fire truck, and a chocolate bar. They're all made by one local company, and apparently they came into fashion over the last

Source: AP News

The New Jersey Deli Worth $100 Million

WEIRD WORLD Apparently, a New Jersey deli is worth $100 million. enen DELI 856067-5330 The deli is owned by the company Hometown International, which owns nothing elsec-and, somehow, its stock is trading at a price that corresponds to a valuation of $100 million.

Source: CNBC

The Man Who Got COVID Despite Staying in a Quarantine Hotel

WEIRD WORLD A man got COVID despite spending about $1,200 on a Toronto quarantine hotel. hieralon He spent 1546.56 CAD (about $1,200) on three nights at the hotel after a flight from Pakistan, and left once his airport test came back negative. He then went into home quarantine with his

Source: CP24

The Drug Lord Landlord in Ireland

WEIRD WORLD In Ireland, a landlord evicted tenants for growing cannabis, then set up his own operation. He discovered that the people renting his house were using it as a grow house, so he evicted them but, not long after, he was approached and offered 5,000 (almost $6,000), to take

Source: IrishTimes

The Florida Billboards Targeting Matt Gaetz

WEIRD WORLD Billboards targeting Matt Gaetz popped up in Florida. MATT GAETZ WANTS TO DATE YOUR CHILD. They say Matt Gaetz wants to 'date' your child, and they're referencing the sex trafficking investigation being conducted against Gaetz. CRACKED.GOM

Source: The Hill

The Doctor Who Killed a Patient Via Butt Injection

WEIRD WORLD A Dallas woman was sentenced to 5 years for killing someone with a butt injection. She injected a nightclub dancer with liquid silicone in 2015, which ended up killing the dancer when the silicone entered her bloodstream. CRACKED.COM

Source: NBC

The Ranting Pilot Who Didn’t Know His Mic Was On

WEIRD WORLD A pilot flying over San Francisco went on a rant against the city without knowing his mic was on. He said, F-k this place, goddamn liberal f-ks. F-king weirdos, probably driving around in f-king Hyundais, f-king roads and s-t that go slow as f-k. You don't have balls

Source: SFGate

The Man Whose Wallet Was Filled with Drugs

WEIRD WORLD A West Virginia dude went to the police station to get his lost wallet (which had drugs). 78 6 72 5-6 66 5 And the truck he drove to the station with also had drugs . so he was arrested. CRACKED.COM

Source: WSAZ

The Man with 15,000 Bees in His Car

WEIRD WORLD A New Mexico guy found 15, .000 bees in his car after leaving it for 10 minutes. Aubentsous He went to buy groceries, and only noticed the gigantic bee swarm when he got back in the car and started driving away.

Source: The Guardian

Norway Is Ditching Gas-Powered Cars

NORWAY IS DITCHING GAS-POWERED CARS. In March 2020, 75% of new cars bought in Norway were hybrids or electric cars. Norwegians were pretty against ele
Source: The Guardian

Don’t Get Angry Based Just on a Headline

DON'T GET ANGRY BASED JUST ON A HEADLINE. COLUMNISTS wnhall Teac Erianna Male 1ypghert After Biolog Goes School to Supervise Room Willing Locker Being

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