33 Hilarious Family Idioms You’ll Want to Adopt

‘I’m gonna cuts’ has a tone of impending doom
33 Hilarious Family Idioms You’ll Want to Adopt

There’s nothing quite like the embarrassment of accidentally letting a family idiom slip during a conversation with people who you’re not related to. There’s simply no way to explain away why you described something as “more fun than eating watermelon in a rental car.” While the exuberance of freely eating messy food in a car you don’t own is self-explanatory, the phrase still raises a lot of questions — and makes friends think twice about letting you borrow their car. 

On that note, we rounded up some of the most hilarious turns of phrase that Redditors use with their families, and there are definitely some here you’ll want to adopt.

jistarkey86 . 1 11y Whenever someone at our house leaves the room for a period of time, someone will ask where they went. The common answer is usually along the lines of Не went to shit and the hogs ate him ... 6
mean_police. 11y Who shit and put hair on it? I'm not joking either. Its something other family members say, but I can't say I've ever used it myself. Somehow it just....doesn't come up. ... 8
nextwiggin4 11y look at the potato the story goes, they were in a van diving down a road and someone in the front of the car noticed a large portrait of a potato at roadside fruit stand and said hey, look at the potato everyone looks. But a few moments pass and someone in the back of the car excitedly yelled (having not heard the person at the front) Hey! Look at the potato! So anytime two people make the same observation, unbeknownst to the second, you say Hey, look at the potato. It sounds dumber written out.
Kvetch22 . . 11y Whenever anyone in my family says something inaccurate/does something wrong, then gets corrected, the response is always my mistake, your fault. ... 19
tinabear . 1 11y There isn't something the whole family says but while I was growing up if someone couldn't find something and they asked my mom where it was she would always say if it was in your ass you'd know where it was ... 21
RunsWithPremise . 11y I've heard my dad describe something as, More fun than eating watermelon in a rental car. When something appears really daunting, I will often say, That's tougher than shoving a wet noodle up a wild cat's ass. ... 11
rainbowcountry. . 7y Chin up, tits out is my Mom's version of keep calm and carry on. She says it in all difficult moments, even at funerals. ... 9
PedanticPinniped • 7y When my family inevitably takes forever to get ready to go somewhere, and we finally make it out the door, my mom always says And we're off like a herd of turtles! ... 11
Strahz . 11y Two turds and a chicken liver. In response to asking what's for dinner. ... 4
pope_fundy . . 11y When it was time for supper, my dad would always say, Come and get it or we'll throw it out to the pigs! We never had any pigs.
Alybank . & 8y Being peopled out meaning you want to spend time by yourself because you've socialized too much. This happens a lot around the beginning of the school year and holidays. ... 52
PatMagroin72 . 8y My family says cuts for vomiting, don't know where it came from. I'm gonna cuts. ... 28
nesswow . 7y When we would ask what was for dinner and my dad said liver and onions, it always meant we were getting pizza delivered. ... 2
sleepy_bumble_bee . 7y god's tickling an elephant = sun shower walk around = cordless phone cida ana cuna = see you later (my parents lived in El Paso for a bit so my guess is they misread a sign on the road) ... 3
DreadfulRauw. 7y There are rights worth dying for. Your right of way isn't one of them This came up a lot when I was learning to drive.
mrmessiah . 8y That weak feeling you get when youre coming down with a bad cold is 'toast legs'. Because you feel in your legs you just want to lie in bed eating toast.
_AreWeHavingFunYet_e88 Lord love a duck. My family and I play a lot of cards and one night we were playing a particularly competitive game. Well a turn did not go the way my mother had hoped and she just blurted out this phrase out of frustration. Nobody really knows what it means but we still use it during card games as sort of an inside joke. ... 11
Ifmonkeyswerenickels . . 8y Shooting bunnies for farting, I have no idea where it came from. ... 13
Valkyrja-Mandiann . 8y I've mentioned this one before: Orangoutang gangbang. My nephew asked my husband in a car full of kids why there was a news van at the beach. Не absentmindedly answered Orangoutang gangbang in the bathroom. Now everyone uses the term to mean something extraordinary is happening or a colossal screw up. ... 35
g-a-r-n-e-t . 8y the women in my family talk about their husband's 'frog percentages' on a regular basis, as in the ratio of frog to prince present in a man at any time. Comes from my grandmother explaining to my heartbroken preteen mother after a breakup that yeah, you found your prince, but he started out as a frog and will always have a little frogginess in him, and that's just the way things are and we have to make do. When my dad makes my mom mad she'll tell him 'you're looking awful green today' or 'are those warts on your
Turborg 8y We call U-Turns Screaming Mickey's It all came about when we were all out driving one day and mum was in the passenger seat. Dad had driven past where we needed to go and she was trying to tell him he needed to do a U-Turn. She had a bit of a mind blank and couldn't remember what they were called and in her panic to get words out before he drove too far, it just came out as you need to do a screaming mickey! This was many many years ago now and it's genuinely stuck. ...
iamaduck1 . 8y We call the edge of the parking lot far away from the store the back forty. This is because lots of our older members were farmers way back when, and on a farm you have a few acres for the house and barn and the most used stuff is there. The other forty just have cows on them, thus the back forty. ... 4
orangething . 8y Top used is definitely hotdog water, which describes any awful happening or individual. ... 2
Munxcub . . 11y Whenever we're building something, or doing a reno/DIY project, if someone is getting a little nitpicky about the tolerances/margin of error, someone says It's not the fucking Taj Mahal We have now added We're not building a piano and we're not putting monkeys into space ... 14
tamaleguy..11y My mom always says, Life's a bitch and so is your mother. ... 19
krebhamp . 11y Whenever someone in my family mentions that they wish would happen, it is always returned with You can wish in one hand and shit in another to see which fills up faster. ... 22
youarecaught . 11y My youngest and I share It's got what plants crave and it's got electrolytes. Usually in response to a nonsensical thing someone else has said. ... 51
yelnnek . 11y vore Usually, when my uncle is talking about some kind of event where there is a large crowd, and they're really worked up because something on stage is extremely impressive or just exciting, instead of just saying that the crowd went wild or something similar when recounting the story, he'll just say something like, ...and by the end they were throwing babies. I took this literally as a child and was horrified at the places he went. ... 77
Dr_Pizza . 11y Way to ruin Christmas. Relevant any time of year for minor slip-ups/awkward comments. Bonus points if it's on a holiday. Triple bonus points if it's on Christmas. ... 71
Logic007 . 11y My mom is 60~ years old. She's a short, elderly, sweet little hispanic lady who enjoys gardening and british crime tv shows. One day some Jehovah witnesses knocked at the door and completely out of her character for her, my mom screams out I DONT EVEN WANNA TALK TO BITCHES RIGHT NOW. It is like she was momentarily possessed by Katt Williams. It has become a common phrase around the house for dismissing people. ... 238
noxinboxes . 3y My dad describes people in bad moods as being like a fart in a mitten. I honestly have no idea how he came up with this turn of phrase but I love it! ... 2
c71score . . Зу When my oldest boy was little, he would ad a The to the number in a sequel. (example: Terminator The 2: Judgement Day). All movies in my house have been given this treatment since. ... 2
Gwinle . 3y Cackleberry = egg Do you want cackleberrys for lunch? Ganzee = jumper Can you pass me my ganzee, im cold. These 2 came from my great grandad and my mum just thought they were other words for them, but no, he just made them up. Whenever we are out and say these words, we get really funny looks! ... 2
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