18 of the Funniest Tweets from September 28, 2023

The dunks about Leo’s dating habits continues
18 of the Funniest Tweets from September 28, 2023

While everyone is getting their best Cowgirl Barbie and Oppenheimer costumes ready for Halloween, one company is here to remind you who the undisputed king of spooky season is by selling his rights to the highest bidder. Trancas International Films, which co-owns the rights to John Carpenter’s iconic Halloween franchise, is looking for a landing spot for Michael Myers’ TV rights, according to a report from Bloody Disgusting. This has led to a bidding war between Miramax, which already owns Halloween’s film rights, and A24, America’s beloved home for auteurs. With A24 in the lead, there may be an atmospheric re-examination of the masked murderer in store for us by next Halloween. 

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In other TV news, one boob-tube staple still remains hostless. Following Trevor Noah’s exit from The Daily Show last year, Hasan Minhaj was the expected front-runner to fill the vacancy — until, that is, a recent New Yorker report about Minhaj making up the stories behind jokes that were supposedly based on real-life events. And so, when the show returns on October 16th, Daily Show viewers will be greeted by a new round of rotating guest hosts as the network continues its search for a new permanent host. 

Meanwhile, the timeline has been busy striking up another day of laughs. Today’s funny tweets include those about an aging search engine, a well-endowed subway system and someone who can find the bright side in being part of a human centipede.

Matthew @MatthewJA27.22h ... This shit has me dying Rangers pitcher Jordan Montgomery on marrying a doctor: She loves how dumb I am, that's what makes it work 90 25.3K 1,750 1.8M
Bun(ky) TM @LostArt_jpg· 16h i bet the elastigirl suit talks to it's actor like the green goblin whin @thebrooklyncat - 1d KNOW it's a GAY in there 23 68 99.9K 7,277 4.4M
Alex Edelman @AlexEdelman 3h ... Wow, the New York City subway really likes to brag E D в 5 7 11.1K 170
asherah @e_asherah . 4h where is the representation for girls that are worse than their boyfriends?? chaotic dirtbag martini chugging women who are dating extremely responsible and high functioning men 24 274 2,228 121K
francis @franfaced . 14h dating to marry The one thing I'd love to know about you is What you read mostly coded messages jodie foster leaves for me in her movies Send Like 9 217 4,941 125K
Stone Cold Jane Austen @AbbyHiggs - 1h ... FOX 29 FOX 29 @FOX29philly. 1h Swift had ranch and ketchup on her plate at Sunday's Kansas City Chiefs game. fox29.com/news/heinz- sau... 3 32 201 7,910
karen han @karenyhan 1h wakanda for chickens easily the funniest thing i've read in years 4F DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm.2h The Chicken Island of 'CHICKEN RUN: DAWN OF THE NUGGET' is described as Wakanda for chickens. It's a beautiful, natural place. We spent time just thinking, 'How would a chicken want to live? (Source: empireonline.com/movies/news/ch...) 8 491 7,035 266K
paige @BonerWizard .4h 4F DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm - 11h Henry Cavill in Matthew Vaughn's 'ARGYLLE'. 38 367 12.5K 7
Cuck Liddell @c0ck_l3snar.2h ... I'm assembling a team. 12 34 445 9,870
MS. PARKER @MafiosoRo 1d ... You relax for 5 minutes after work next thing you know it's 10pm. 77 16K 50K 1.5M
wild (tiktok) screenshots @wildtiktokss 1d You're in her dms but she's in my bed and we're taking online quizzes in order to figure out if either of US have autism гагоя 151 5,473 77.9K 3.5M
comeback jack @meanunclejack• 1d they needed this в Block Club Chicago @BlockClubCHI. 2d Squirrels have gone wild because they're celebrating an acorn surplus. blockclubchi.co/3t5MOvP 10 1,646 19.2K 857K
Imani Gandy (Orca's Version) @AngryBlackL... 1d ... How come we never hear about him biting people who aren't Secret Service agents. Really makes you think BNO BNO News @BNONews 1d NEWS Biden's dog Commander bites Secret Service agent at the White House, causing injuries which were treated by medical personnel, spokesman says adidas ACC 487 5,178 82.8K del 3.9M
Senator John Fetterman @SenFettermanPA 20h ... gettyimages Credit: CBS Photo Archive 81156287 Senate Press Gallery @SenatePress• 20h S. Res. 376, clarifying the dress code for the floor of the Senate, was adopted by unanimous consent. 844 2,011 27.2K 1.5M
Jordan Blok @Jordanbloked 1d Girl if you don't get up and start putting those hands in ur hair he's rockin that bitch I'd be going DUMB in that living room @_via_getty_ . 3 3d getty do not go gentle into that longhouse CC Hinge boy started DJing pls pick me up 1,779 23.7K 1M 81
Thomas @len0killer. 16h Put me in a human centipede situation and l'll be cracking jokes, keeping morale up and staying focused on my goals 53 2,664 24.8K del 863K
ЕК. @ekibrahim_ 9h I would've cut a hole in the bottom of the table like a Scooby Doo villain. Drake Fan Page @DrakeDirect_ 18h Drake out at Onyx last night in Atlanta CC 343 14.8K 103K 5.6M
Zach Raffio @zachraffio 1d Leonardo DiCaprio switching to Bing POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave. 1d Google turns 25 today. www.google.com/ Images Videos Maps News Shopping Googl Advanced search Language tools I'm Feeling Google Search About Business Solutions Advertising Programs Go to Google Nederland ID 2011 - Privacy 22 891 15.6K 1M
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