19 of the Funniest Tweets from September 20, 2023

Perfect descriptions, no notes
19 of the Funniest Tweets from September 20, 2023

John Fetterman has been making waves since his no-frills campaign earned him a seat in the U.S. Senate — just not for the reasons you’d think. Thanks to regularly prioritizing his mental health and his happy marriage to his bisexual wife, the Pennsylvania Democratic senator has found himself in the crosshairs of his colleagues on the other side of the aisle. Their crusade against chill vibes continued this week as virtually every Republican senator railed against Chuck Schumer’s decision to loosen up the traditional dress code in the Senate chamber. 

The 46 senators who are against the policy change signed a letter urging for a reversal of the decision noting that “the Senate is a place of honor and tradition” and that they “must protect the sanctity of that place at all costs.” Many GOP senators have suggested that the new informal dress code coddles Fetterman and his Sandlercore-esque fits, which they consider slovenly. In fact, Senator Susan Collins threatened to wear a bikini in protest of the new rule, a move that would probably gain her a few fans if she weren’t joking. 

Luckily, things are much less strict and uptight on the timeline. Twitter users are having a ball and delivering us some funny tweets including those about a call for Diet Coke-toberfest, a picture of Catherine O’Hara destined for L.A. benches and Southern goths. 

Bayek of Sowa @SowaTheArr... 19h ... The Chicago Bears visited an orphanage in Mexico today. It was so sad to see the looks of desperation and hopelessness on their faces, said Luis, age 11. 109 1,362 14.9K 1.5M
Hurt CoPain @SaeedDiCaprio - 23m ... I trust the guy who can't keep a website running to put a chip in my brain Dexerto @Dexerto.27m Elon Musk's brain chip Neuralink is set to begin human trials 50 653 9,172 109K
brooks sterritt @brksstrrtt-17h ... retiring this short story for a while after a student read the first line in Borat voice Imaoo A. M. HOMES My wife, the doctor, is not well. In the end she could be dead. It 7 25 344 17.5K
hussy @HOSTAGEKILLER-5h i don't like the tone of your voice. mayonnaise was invented in Spain, where these Spanish make their bocadillos. watch it. watch how you speak about sandwiches with that ugly tone of voice. Adrian @blagojevism.1 15h Could Americans ever accept the Spanish bocadillo. Which, as a rule, has no mayonnaise, sauce, or other scarfing lubricant? 8 151 2,349 47.2K
Jake Romm @jake_romm.1 17h ... every letter Marx wrote to Engles: Trending in United States ... Where The Bag At 1,192 posts Trending ... Engels 1,411 posts 6 351 2,682 74.1K
Armand Domalewski @ArmandDoma 18h can I say something without everyone getting mad NEW YORK New York Post POST @nypost . 23h Susan Collins jokes she'll 'wear a bikini' in protest of 'Fetterman Rule' trib.al/cdkCyMm SEN. COLLINS 144 352 13.6K del 1.9M
tori @doritenholm 9h If I was a Nepo Baby I wouldn't have a job. my life would just be Lymes Disease and wear Juicy Couture tracksuits to Starbucks every day! 2 38 578 19.4K
7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000.2 2h There should be an Oktoberfest for Diet Coke 9 304 1,387 31.7K
america's lounge singer @KrangTNelson 13h ENGLISH ACCENT: fine, funny if it's cockney SCOTTISH: the absolute best one. completely unintelligible AUSTRALIAN: delightful in cadence and form. playfully poignant IRISH: same as australian but a sad version SOUTH AFRICAN: pure evil, like the hissing of a thousand snakes 112 707 11.3K dul 608K
dajour @selahspades 12h this singlehandedly ended any chance joe had at winning the pr war that he was already losing Pop Base @PopBase 13h Taylor Swift and Sophie Turner step out together in New York. 9 17.4K 790K 747
President-Elect Toguro @PresidentToguro.15h too tired to piss too full of piss to sleep 820 13 276K 9,277
philip lewis @Phil_Lewis_ . 5h I just know Donald Trump Jr's password is MAGA123 81 335 3,177 du 156K
josef k hole @poeticdweller.2 21h ... this being catherine ohara's wiki pic is SOOOO realtor cunt... like she's gonna SELL that house! 4 115 2,331 76.8K
ShitpostGateway @Shitpost... 2h ... You can't be goth and southern at the same time today 03:00 PM I bet you feel really stupid right now read 57 1,848 31K 445K
tatyana @heluvstat. 1d how u know? my home girl : чиста ml Ing done different FBI 690 18K 85.5K 4.4M
doxie @doxie_gay 15h ... beef jerky is so expensive I might just buy the beef and jerk it off myself 82 6,420 46K del 1.5M
Her @_chelseamichele 21h ... 8 Look out everybody, suckasaurus on the loose! @gsnivxa 21h i'll suck my man's diick 10 times a day if he wants me to idc 247 4,089 13.2K 1.2M
bunkey @chiefkeefmidi - 1 18h mad at me all by yourself beautiful? 13 2,487 14.8K du 567K
doxie @doxie_gay 1d ... babe are you okay? you've barely touched your sopelien 36 3,223 24.4K 866K
Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?