20 of the Funniest Tweets from September 7, 2023

There’s no way a Founding Father could handle Nerds
20 of the Funniest Tweets from September 7, 2023

Steven Hyde’s confident declaration that he’d be in prison one day has come true for the actor who portrayed him. Danny Masterson, best known for his run on That ‘70s Show, was sentenced to 30 years to life for two rape charges earlier today. This maximum sentence came after a 2022 mistrial and a subsequent retrial. 

Elsewhere, a handful of Tonight Show staffers have come out to describe the hellish conditions of working for Jimmy Fallon. While 16 current and former staffers spoke their truth to Rolling Stone, Jerry Seinfeld quickly came to Fallon’s defense. One instance saw two staffers describing an uncomfortable situation where Fallon scolded a crew member in charge of the cue cards, which then prompted Seinfeld to encourage Fallon to apologize to the crew member. Upon reading the Rolling Stone piece, Seinfeld wrote into the publication saying, “This is so stupid. I remember this moment quite well… I teased Jimmy about a flub, and we all had a fun laugh about how rarely Jimmy is thrown off. It was not uncomfortable at all. Jimmy and I still occasionally recall it and laugh. Idiotic twisting of events.”

Seinfeld’s statement is likely the first of many that will roll out as Fallon joins Ellen DeGeneres on the Mount Rushmore of horrible bosses. 

In-between toxic Hollywood behavior, the timeline has lightened the mood with some more funny tweets, including those about an uninspired playlist, a misleading headline and the consequences of taking your bird on a walk.

Austin Highsmith Garces @A... 20h ... Unsure of how everyone else read this, but I honestly thought this was a headline about a killer crab. Video shows inmate's esca... 25m ago The convicted killer crab walked CNN between two walls and pushed through newly installed razor wire to break out of prison, authorities say 462 4,190 42.4K 1.8M
kate wagner (castle era) @mc... 23h ... this is the playlist someone makes after frantically googling 'music' Populism Updates @Populi... 1d Politico asked Vivek Ramaswamy to make a playlist: Lose Yourself - Eminem Rondo Alla Turca-Mozart Centuries-Fall Out Boy Believer - Imagine Dragons Jolene-Dolly Parton Thunder-Imagine Dragons Dream On-Aerosmith Pastures of Plenty-Woody Guthrie 201 3,914 60.2K 4.1M
internet hall of fame @Inter... . 3h ... IGGY @topthoughtsgod It would be cool if after you died you could see the top 5 times you almost died. 299 1,060 16.6K 535K
Ali @AliEzzoBezzo.1 1d ... one time i was making out with a girl and she said ur gonna get more than this later and i got so scared 60 1,587 37.7K 1.1M
sober october @longtermst... 3h ... WESOME! owlservice бет Follow I could be the person writing one time verification codes. 873726. 290971. 041452. 667656. It comes naturally to me. riben Follow They look so good 14 1,037 10.9K 183K
kelbin @pissboymcgee. 21h i'd love to give benjamin franklin a handful of these NeRdS Candy Gummy Clusters sweet & gummy Inside toilgy & crunchy outside ONLANGED TE SHOW TEXTURE very berry 100 NATURALLY & ME CALORIES NET WT 8 OZ (227g) 102 3,888 52.8K 2.3M
maddi @urmanicpixiegf-19h no f'king way dude LUIC your Unavailable LEAKGUARD PROTECTION Tampax Pearl $4.67 Tampons, with TAMPAX $4.67 ea PEARL LeakGuard Braid, Super Plus 18 SUPER PLUS Absorbency, Unscented, 18 Ct 25.9c/ea Qty 1 Substitution Whole White $4.67 Mushrooms, 16 oz $4.67 ea Qty 1 167 4,443 70.7K 1.3M
iconic posts @origins_audio. 1d ... CVS pharmacy C V S FREE the GRATIC im never smokin dat shit again i I ended up at the evil CVS 83 7,208 79.3K 2.6M
Sean Burns @SeanMBurns 5h ... If you think working for THE TONIGHT SHOW sounds unpleasant you should try watching it. 5 20 141 5,155
karan hedonia @_karan_ . 5h no offence but put him in some uniqlo chinos a muji shirt new balance trainers and any cap and he could literally be any boy in london. he is gone. they will never find him. Metropolitan Police @metpoliceuk. 1d We are urgently appealing to trace Daniel Khalife, who escaped from Wandsworth Prison this morning. Не has links to #Kingston - police efforts to trace him are ongoing. Не should not be approached. If you have info on his whereabouts, call 999 quoting CAD 1631/06SEP23
President-Elect Toguro @PresidentToguro - 1 1h ... PETER I TOLD YOU DONT LOOK AT THE 'LEGAL ISSUES' SECTION OF MARK WAHLBERG'S WIKIPEDIA PAGE 2 5 131 6,027
-L-(1)) @ijustbluemyself.3h JUST MAKING SURE I DON'T FIT IN...... Pop Base @PopBase. 6h A rare spot-less giraffe has been born at a Tennessee zoo. It is believed to be the only known solid-colored reticulated giraffe i... 1 92 1,068 47.2K
Laura Bassett @LEBassett.4h Montpelier, Vermont, is the funniest possible town this person could've accidentally chosen here HaleyFan @NikkiHaleyFan02. 1d Democrats will never win small-town America again. Readers added context The town in this picture is Montpelier, Vermont, which voted 88% for Joe Biden in the 2020 election. Show this note 433 4,820 276K 43
F. @fonzfranc.20h sent a pic of my dog's new look to my mother Today 5:42 PM Maverick looks cute he got a blow job Lmfao a blow out, yes. Delivered 20 32 132 7,864
cory snearowski @corysnearowski.18h ... Landmine AV The A.V. Club @TheAVClub . 21h Bob Barker's cause of death is revealed dlvr.it/ SvkYvZ the PRiC is Rinh 21 509 10K del 731K
Tamoor Hussain @tamoorh 12h Never forget Lady Gaga @ladygaga 1d What's fortnight 28K 204K 869K Ninja @Ninja 1d Call me on the Telephone. I'll give you a Million Reasons to play. You and I. Lady Gaga @ladygaga @Ninja who are you 2:15 AM 17 Oct 19 Twitter for iPhone 17.1K Retweets 69K Likes 66 2,288 48.2K 1.2M
Antá @antaxoxo_ - 15h took my pet bird for a walk on my shoulder and it flew away saph / sadie @saphi... . ..1/8/23 14. whats the stupidest thing youve ever done? 83 737 7,095 379K
jill @stevienicks420.17h ... slimed imagine ur watching sex and the city and they're at the coffee shop and they pan to all the girls individually and this is what they pan to for Miranda would you even notice 3 138 1,171 45.9K
Aaron Stewart-Ahn @someb... 22h ... Ahhhhhhhh the incredibly soothing sensation of Tom Hardy doing another new voice and accent that has never existed before. 34 919 14K 592K
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