20 of the Funniest Tweets from September 6, 2023

Technically, ‘land birth’ is correct
20 of the Funniest Tweets from September 6, 2023

There’s something rotten at Rotten Tomatoes. This morning, news broke that the review aggregator is even more wilted than you could imagine. Over the last five years, a PR firm has been exploiting the Tomatometer by paying lesser-known critics $50 each to bolster their films’ ratings with good reviews. These incentivized reviews, which are supposedly prohibited, saw the Daisy Ridley-led Ophelia jump from a rotten 46 percent to a fresh 62 percent after its disappointing Sundance premiere. As the site does damage control, it makes you wonder: Did this firm have anything to do with You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah’s suspiciously impressive score?

Meanwhile, if you find yourself needing a new excuse to get out of jury duty, might we suggest streaming? Colorado-based Twitch streamer FaZe Kalei was immediately disqualified from serving as a juror after disclosing her occupation. So turn on that webcam, play some video games and you’ll be immediately relinquished from deciding someone’s fate in the court of law. 

Speaking of judging others, we’ve spent the afternoon judging some of the funniest tweets that have hit the timeline today, including those about financial illiteracy, hindsight and a wide range of flirting techniques.

madam senatHER @reallifese... 22h ... Love having offline friends because I get texts like this Today 12:40 PM Millie Bobby brown is engaged Today 1:51 PM I don't know who that is Eleven Delivered That's really young 18 1,371 35.2K 702K
The Tree That Can Move @J..... 1d ... I'd use afterpay for a house if they let me. TASHAOLINASSASSIN Justin Harris 300 @St... . 1d Y'all be using afterpay for shoes??? 185 10.2K 37.4K del 2.4M
@reniformpulse 18h ... girl in my theater was rizzing up her date by pretending to be willa wonka during the trailers which seemed like a difficult gambit but when the girl she was with giggled at her going scratch that, reverse it  i knew i was watching a real professional at work in front of me 71 3,630 59K 816K
sydney @custardloaf. 1d 11 310 3,523 128K
Turnpike lke @Jetlife_863-17h ... This damn charger from Dollar Tree done changed my phone number 227 4,079 23.6K 1.3M
emily @emilykmay 20h ... I had a water birth in the hospital when I had my daughter and I had to take a class beforehand where they referred to all other birth as land birth. 95 463 18.7K 527K
Alice @StarInTheTitle 21h ... my niche hobby is listening to the back catalogues of podcasts as they get closer and closer to the year 2020, hearing the hosts casually mention their plans for the next few months as I sit there like a weird time-travelling gremlin burdened with the curse of my futureknowledge 79 909 16.5K 465K
emily @emilykmay.23h My BFF just got an adhd diagnosis and her therapist suggested that she keep tiny Polaroid photos of all of her friends in her wallet so that she doesn't forget who her friends are 528 4,230 78.5K 2.6M
bethany @fiImgal . 5 5h this is the type of photo you see in a netflix true crime docu-series POP CRAVE @PopCrave.7 7h Pop Crave Drake shares photo of the collection of bras he has received from fans: Remember when we both forgot who the fuck I was in unison... that wavelength was def a foolish one. ASSHOLES OR COULD BE FLY WOULD THIS PLACE AIRPORT 13 113 2,731 120K
latke @latkedelrey 1h you're trouble JayR @JayNoir_.2h Flirt like a married man. Go 12 37 538 24.5K
alex @midsmoker34·1 18h Idk how to flirt i just called this bitch chungus 12 671 6,769 290K
whitney @ItsWhitneyLeann-4h ... I bet she did something fucking hilarious @PopBase e.4h Pop Base Sources tell TMZ that Joe Jonas filed for divorce after allegedly catching Sophie Turner doing or saying something on a ring camera: Joe had access to a ring cam that he said captured Sophie saying and/or doing something that made him realize the marriage was over. 4,708 152K 10 160
Matt Post @MattPostSaysHi·1 16h ... pov you jaywalked in gotham TikTok @ gavinblake23 3 148 1,466 48.8K
calamity griffy @mattressgoblin 17h me and my 9pm bowl of cereal GIF 20 930 9,123 338K
colin @cheeserburger. 9h chugging a woman's entire drink at the bar and then saying you're safe. there is nothing in your drink 7 349 5,002 del 153K
H. Eastaughffe @LordranPal. 2h ... theheadasshoncho (Guailo... 39m ... WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO CHANGE MY NAME? HE'S THE ONE THAT SUCKS quickmeme com ifunny.co 1 53 del 1,719 John Hittler @EvokingGenius.28m Exactly! 19 1,310 63 814 22.1K 1
KenKen @KensBestLyfe • 16h When It Says It Feeds 3-4 People But You Ended Up Finishing It By Yourself 72 2,884 11K 451K
WitchDoctorDB (open) @d... 21h ... why is this shot like Mario is committing warcrimes or something Supper Mario Broth 11/4/21 In 1994, Nintendo made a public event at a Dutch airport where 10,000 counterfeit Game Boy games they confiscated in the Netherlands were ran over by a steamroller, to send a message to counterfeiters. An actor in a Mario costume was overseeing the operation. Nintendo Nintendo 90 2,780 30.4K 1.3M
makaio @makjako 19h ... The best way to flirt is to never initiate it ever and never assume anyone is flirting with you and minding your business 19 1,142 8,413 244K
$lap @slvppy 20h ... i had 50 in my account, i spent 30 so i should have 20 bank balance: -$256 78 4,122 25.1K . 1.1M

Tags:

Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?