John Early Is Figuring Out How to Be Sincere

As the star of the sharp new indie ‘Stress Positions,’ the irreverent comic works in a more serious vein. He tells Cracked why he’s getting comfortable with being earnest — even if he’s scared everyone will think he’s pretentious

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15 Scientific Names of Species That Sound Completely Obscene

15 Scientific Names of Species That Sound Completely Obscene

It’s tough being a scientist. You have to pay attention to tiny differences between things that might seem to any else to be entirely identical — to a layperson, a wasp is a wasp, but to someone who has dedicated their life to studying the idiosyncrasies between species, it might be glaringly obvious that, say, Wasp A’s mandibles are completely different to Wasp B’s, and it is in fact an exciting new species.

Concentrating on things at such a minute, hyper-intelligent level can sometimes mean missing out on bigger things, like that you’ve accidentally called your new species something that sounds a lot like “the shit-covered butthole wasp.” 

There are more filthy-sounding species out there than you might expect. Nothing undermines the majesty of nature as effortlessly as poorly thought out nomenclature — like giving an elegant species a Latin name that sounds a bit like someone’s dick. 

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The Grass That Sounds Like an 11-Year-Old Named It

Also known as gamba grass, Andropogon gayanus can grow up to nine feet in height. That's a really big gayanus. CRACKED

source / iNaturalist 

The Grape-Fucking Fungus

A fungus mainly found on wine grapes, Botryotinia fuckeliana is named after the 19th-century German botanist Karl Wilhelm Gottlieb Leopold Fuckel, a man who, if he were around today, would have every email he wrote sent to people's spam folders. CRACKED

source / BioLib 

A Cute Bird, or a Poop in a Silly Place?

The American robin, an adorable little creature, has the scientific name Turdus migratorius, which sounds like the name you'd give a piece of shit that had traveled somewhere it shouldn't. CRACKED

source / Feeder Watch 

The Crane That Does What to a What Now?

The wattled crane, an endangered species of bird found in Africa, is the only species in its genus. That genus would raise eyebrows, particularly in Britain: Bugeranus. CRACKED

source / eBird 

The Beetle You Can’t Google

Idiosyncrasies of language can mean two things share a name. This is what happened with the beetle Colon rectum, a leiodidae beetle named by Melville Hatch in 1933, an interesting beetle you should never do a Google Image search for. CRACKED

source / Tumblr 

The Wasp That Can Do No Such Goddamned Thing

The wasp subgenus Pison contains 145 different species so far, with many remaining undefined - there will eventually be many more named, defined species within it. One species, defined in 1988, sports the delightful name Pison eu. No! Please don't! CRACKED

Source / Twitter 

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