Bill Murray plus Hunter S. Thompson plus shotguns equals this article.
The postman only purs twice.
You won't believe what happened next! No seriously, you won't believe it.
Complete with cute pictures of socialist heartthrobs; tweens of the world, unite!
It happened twice, which is still two more times than would be considered normal.
He was like the Jim Morrison of Buddhist monks, which is to say, what Jim Morrison really wanted to be.
At least they could blame a poor understanding of science.
Whodunit? The real answer may be weirder than anyone guessed.
Get a cone of ice-cold steel.
This was regarded as the 'more precise and humane option.'