Don't you realize you can just make some shit up? If you wanted to write a song about pistol whipping the Insane Clown Posse roadie who was making out with your wife, just write that shit. You don't actually have to go out and beat up a clown to do it.
Hollywood's most frustrating films to watch are the ones that are one character away from being perfect. Whether it's a wacky sidekick or a sassy kid, they always suck the life out of the film.