If you played role-playing games as a child, then you know they never worked as advertised. You'd sit down for an epic adventure with your friends only to find out that one of them can't pay attention, one is too stupid to be allowed near math, and one is ashamed of everything you're doing. I decided that nerds get lied to enough by online "girl"friends and ads for Real, Working Submarines, so I've developed a system that promises and delivers an honest, realistic role-playing experience.

From the Producers of Man Comics: A Role-Playing System designed for YOU! MARVEL SUPER HERDES FOR DRUNK CHILDREN

SPIDER-MAN TM He's the only super hero that Mike knew. Fighting: Spectacular Agility: Pilatic Strength: Adjectival Endurance: Subjective Reason: Confu

CAPTAIN AMERICA TM Because even 12-year-olds get patriotic when they're drunk, and Trevor is drunk. Fighting: American Agility: Impaired Strength: Mis

THING TM Your friend Cody is an idiot. Fighting: True Agility: False Strength: True Endurance: True Reason: False Intuition: False Powers: HER ROCKY S

What Role-Playing Games Are Really Like (When You're Drunk)

7 9 STONE 12 E LIGHIT CAPTAIN ANERICA 1 7 or ICO DICK WHISKEY MURTAUGH o PUNCHMASTER TEACHER Aooly Glue Heee Apply Ghue Here Apolv o Gle Here Apoly Ch

7.I'm not shure where's 10. Mike knew this super Marvel Super Heroes we were... okay... The hero game would suck. Villains Roster Fight Book Red Skul

What Role-Playing Games Are Really Like (When You're Drunk)

17. Trevor says that if your brother gets to be Thor. then he gets to be Nazi TELL you WHAT-- I EITHER Shark. GET TO BE THOR OR you GET TO BE KICKED I

19. BLaaARRGHHHH! Nine pizza bagels and six beers explode onto Shark Thor and your Marvel Super Heroes Battle Book Playset & Adventure Guide. Go to

The One Cracked Fact Newsletter

Get daily exclusive stories about our weird world, plus deep cuts and the latest from Cracked.

Forgot Password?