Understanding People Who See Jesus In Burnt Toast
In Chicago, Ill., the Virgin Mary appeared on the underbelly of a pet turtle. In Sacramento, Cal., there is a statue of Madonna that weeps blood like a horned lizard right before it is eaten by a predator. And in Houston, Tex., a woman found Jesus in a Cheeto.They are all miracles. Everyone is saying so. Jesus always loved fish, especially the stick kind. I have been skipping from state to state with a bus-full of the meek, running the miracle circuit of America. We stop in diners, hospitals, houses and gas stations, kneeling silently before stains and mold to get the best shots with our digital cameras. Then, when the blotches don't fix us, we drive away. As I look around the bus at all the hopeful faces I only see our similarities, save the old people and the minorities; with them it's easy to see the difference. We have come together through hope -- and through a shared, unrelenting belief that faith is for suckers. We want some goddamn proof.The results are inconclusive. All I have learned so far is that Mary loves rust stains and Jesus loves burnt food. They stay pretty consistent in their means of return to Earth, rarely crossing over into one another's territory. Mary lives in sinks and basements, always revealing her full self -- whereas Jesus, who has a little better face recognition, only comes back as a head on bananas, sandwiches and frying pans. At most stops, as people cry and pray, I stand in the back and privately acknowledge that I'm not good at this yet. Everyone else seems to pick the images out of pancakes and tree knots immediately; they see faces everywhere, in everything. Their lives must be horrifying. At least 14 things are watching you, right now. And in some cases, they truly are horrifying. During a stop at an underpass in Chicago to see Mary in a
Check out more from Soren in Infiltrating the Green Movement: Undercover on the Bandwagon and Exploring the Internet in 11 Days: An Epic Online Odyssey.