Thou Shalt Not Do Stuff That Annoys Me: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

By:
La Pequeña Amy Winehouse In case you haven't heard, the Catholic Church has announced that some new sins have been added to the list. No joke. If you are a practicing Catholic, you now have seven additional "social sins" to worry about: everything from polluting the environment to using birth control to "excessive wealth" now constitutes a "social sin" and will totally make you go to hell forever. What does this mean to you? Probably not a whole lot (unless you were about to throw a used condom off the side of your yacht), but I think there are a few more that need to be tacked onto the list:
  • Eating fast food lunch items before 11:00 am
  • Driving on the shoulder of the highway if you're not in a life-or-death situation
  • Using a personal check to pay for something in public (sending one by mail is still ok)
  • Operating a cash-only business without having an ATM
  • Asking someone "whatcha readin?" when they are clearly reading SOMETHING
  • Casting a vote for an American Idol contestant without ironic intent
  • Dancing on YouTube if you're a Chilean tranny dwarf dressed up as Amy Winehouse
  • I'm sure there are plenty more that I'm forgetting... anyone have any ideas?

    Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter

    Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!

    Forgot Password?