10 Michelle Wolf Jokes for the Hall of Fame

‘Brides will say things like, ‘It’s my special day.’ But how do you call it your day if your dad’s paying for it? I think it’s his day, and I think it’s a really weird day for him. He’s paying a ton of money to make sure a man has sex with you that night’

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This Week In Leaked Tapes: Meg White And Rodney Dangerfield?!

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After canceling a White Stripes tour citing Meg White's "acute anxiety" on September 11th, a mediocre-at-best sex tape is now floating around the web featuring a girl who kinda sorta looks like Meg White (NSFW). Is there a correlation between White's "anxiety" and this tape, or was she just nervous about another terrorist attack on 9/11? She never struck me as much of a patriot. I watched the video (for research purposes, of course - CRACKED has always been known for its tradition of responsible journalism), and while I can't say for sure if it's Meg White or not, I can say with authority that it's definitely a video of two people boning. Good enough for me. What do you guys think? In other news,
Rodney Dangerfield's wife Joan is suing a former friend to prevent him from making public "highly private, extremely sensitive and very personal" video footage of the late comedian. He says it's for a documentary that he intends to premiere at Sundance next year, but it's also 200 hours of footage - there's probably some fucking in there somewhere. When that one leaks I think I'll probably skip it. Okay, fine - maybe just a peek.

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