The 8 Manliest Images on the Internet
One of the very best things about men is the bafflingly stupid shit we do that often results in greatness. Where would the world be without the reckless, awesome retardation of the male gender? If not for the first man to think, “I shall build a horse equivalent... and power it on explosions!” would we have the automobile? If it wasn’t for the man who thought, “I can solve this problem… by cutting it open!” would we have modern medicine? If not for the first man to think, “I will watch pornography... through the telephone!” where would the Internet be? So this post is an ode of sorts; a textual power ballad dedicated to that unique combination of poor analytical skills and pure, steely awesomeness that is man. These are just images of men being men: Doing awesome, unexplainable things just because they look cool. Yes, here they are, eight prime examples of why I love men: Wait… that came out wrong! Don’t start the list ye-
Ogre Parking Enforcement
Mammoth SwordBuster Sword guy built himself a sword that everybody with any knowledge of basic physics knows you cannot ever practically wield, and then he fucking wielded it. That’s not to say that he wielded it well--if there is a victor in that video, it is certainly not Buster Sword guy. However, it is also not the palette. No, the only victor here is the force of gravity itself who, but for the lack of lips, would be screaming, “I told you so!” by the end of the tape. Still, Buster Sword guy should not be mocked. He is a
The Cycle Sheik
You can pre-order Robert's book, Everything is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead on Amazon, or find him on Twitter, Facebook and his own site, I Fight Robots, where you can read more uncomfortably graphic odes to men! Spoiler alert! There's humpin'!