The human body can produce upward of 200 different sounds, and none is less appropriate in a sexual situation than a fart. Farting during sex is like breaking out your Three Stooges impression during a funeral or trying your hand at some of your favorite movie serial killer quotes while on the toilet in a mall bathroom.
It is with no small amount of irony then that the very act of having sex is also easily described as the act of hammering large quantities of air into a tight, moist space such that massive, squeaky farting will occur shortly thereafter. It can't be helped, and I submit that no one told you this prior to your first experience. For guys, this is actually a kind of added bonus to the whole event, like dinner and a show, a sort of fun, theatrical end to the night's festivities. For women, it's like finding out you're adopted and your birth parents are Danny DeVito and sasquatch. Well, that's not fair; I like to think one or two of you ladies, when first presented with a post-coital queef, clapped your hands delightedly and laughed like you just saw outtakes from Step Brothers. But I suspect I'm right when I assume that most of you reacted with something that placed you between mortified and suicidal.
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