SF Zoo Valiantly Fights Back Against Slain Tiger Attack Victim

Following the Christmas tiger attack at the San Francisco Zoo, much has been made of the retaining wall around the tiger cage not being high enough to enclose, say, tigers. In the wake of the scandal, a Zoo "crisis management team" has been called in to help curb the negative publicity plaguing the zoo, and investigate whether the young men attacked had in fact taunted the tiger (which I understand is NOT a term for masturbation), or were under the influence of alcohol. The team has also planned a series of ads designed to "put the whole thing in perspective." One such ad, leaked mere moments ago to my hard drive for some reason, appears after this colon: