Punt Guns, Clay Pigeons and Inaccurate Information About Mexican Holidays: The Daily Nooner!
Awesome Video Of The DayThe Punt Gun
If you're like me, you're sick and tired of carrying around a wimpy, standard-issue shotgun. You know - one you can actually carry around and aim at stuff. Luckily, Tom Knapp (the "greatest exhibition shooter of modern times") has a solution.
The Punt Gun is 11 feet long and weighs 140 pounds. Hunters used to use them in the 19th century to wipe out entire flocks of waterfowl with a single shot, but then Uncle Sam stepped in and put the kibosh on the practice.
Uncle Sam can be a real pantywaist.
These days, punt guns are used mainly for making YouTube viewers say, "Holy shit - that's a big gun." But I don't see why it has to be limited to that! Just think of what you could do with one of these suckers:
Kill dozens of people at the same time
Blast open difficult-to-open shrink wrap packaging
Build your dream house (pack it with nails and shoot a pile of building materials)
Be your own street gang, win a gang war
Finally get that promotion
Shoot God
You can get a replica on eBay right now - the starting bid is $2,000 - but it's only 9'4" and doesn't even shoot. Might make a nice gift for the wife, though.
Halloween may be behind us now, but our quest for the ultimate Halloween alternative continues unabated.Global Holiday Smackdown: HALLOWEENGlobal Contender #2: Dia De Los Muertos
I'm going to try something different today: Rather than relying on Wikipedia for my information about this holiday, I'm gonna wing it. My neighborhood is predominantly Mexican and Puerto Rican. Surely I know SOMETHING about it that's marginally accurate.
Okay... Dia De Los Muertos. That translates to Day of the Dead, which gives me the impression that it's another one of these spirits-coming-back-to-hang-out holidays. I know they put brightly-colored skulls and skeletons all over the place, and that they make these weird skull-shaped cookies. It's a really festive holiday, like a big party to welcome the spirits back from the afterlife or underworld or whatever.
I just made that up.
There's probably some sort of feast, and then maybe some dancing or something, and I bet everyone gives treats to the kids, and then later they all go to sleep so they can wake up for work in the morning1
.
And that, my friends, is the meaning of Dia De Los Muertos.
Cool Factor (out of 10): 8
Based on a complete lack of information, I can only assume that a Mexican festival involving lots of skulls is pretty cool. Plus, I've been to a Quinceanera - I know those people can party.
Halloween
Dia De Los Muertos
Pros
Sweet costumes
Free candy
Awesome parties with tons of booze
Egging, TPing, et al.
Jack-o'-lanterns, bats, evil stuff
Skulls everywhere
Cookies
Awesome name
Other stuff, probably
Cons
Children ring your doorbell all night
???
Winner: Tie
This would be a lot easier if I actually knew anything about Dia De Los Muertos.
1 My girlfriend thinks they camp out in graveyards2.
2 She just looked it up - turns out it's true.
