Orson Scott Card Wants YOU (To Rise Up Against The Gay Menace)
To those to of you who haven't read Ender's Game by Orson Scott card, warning: two spoilers follow. Spoiler 1: Your childhood was incomplete. Spoiler 2: You know that part where Ender fights that kid Bonzo in the showers and kicks him so hard in the nuts that he kills him? Well, Card basically did the same thing to logic and decency last week when he tried to convince the American Citizens in his thrall (myself once among them) to invoke their right of revolution and overthrow the government to stop gay marriage from being legalized. That's right, people. The Mormon guy who wrote all those books about the innocence of a child winning out over war and hatred wants us to raise arms against any queers who feel like expressing their love legally. I mean, I understand a devout Mormon having some issues with gayness, but when your brain tells you that it's an important enough issue to divide the country in a bloody coup, it's time to get a new brain. I'm sure there'll be a whole cavalcade of comments following this post pointing out the merits of homosexuality, its moral deficiency in the eyes of God, and stuff about boobies touching and wieners in butts. So I figured, rather than try to pre-emptively defuse the situation like I usually do, I'll just say to hell with it and let you know how I really feel. If you totally disagree, feel free to comment, we can agree to disagree, and you can come back in a few days and read something funny I wrote about a celebrity pooping themselves.
- It expects everyone to dress well and be on time.
- It involves a lot of lace, and at the end the guy cries sometimes.
- Unless something's gone terribly wrong, no one is pregnant.
- Those tiny sausages they sometimes serve.
- There's a big foofy cake, like the gays are always having.
- Unless I'm sorely mistaken, God's got no problem with it.
When not blogging for Cracked, Michael's being fired from his position as a Cracked blogger for being "too real" and devoting the rest of his time to Those Aren't Muskets!