Occupy the High School Senior Parking Lot: A Manifesto
Movement: [noun] a natural event that involves a change in the position or location of something.
-WikipediaDear Principal Carver, Vice Principal Marshall, Faculty and Staff,We, the class of 2012, urge you to pause for a minute from your duties of forcing the "rules" of the "American't Dream" down the throats of today's youth and look out your windows at the world. There you will see us, putting aside religion, gender and tons of other conflicting stuff to stand united at the edge of a really really big precipice in American history, and more specifically, the curb. We have assembled in the student parking area on the east side of the building, also known as "The Senior Lot" or "The smoker's hangout." We have renamed it "The Parkway of Liberty" in honor of our honorable cause. Let it be known that we unanimously agreed that "Freedom's Freeway" was a better name but Carey Ferguson had already started painting the banner before we could change it. It was a setback, for sure, but if nothing else it should be a testament to the unstoppable power of our revolution now that the gears are in motion. Our goal is simple: We intend to stay out here fighting the tyranny of American capitalism until future generations no longer have to suffer the disproportionate allocation of wealth in this country, and at least until finals week is over. "We want to be heard, probably!" Through Mr. Langen's geopolitics class, we the seniors now understand the growing inequality in this country in ways that you couldn't possibly know unless you stepped out of your big expensive offices for once and actually sat in on his lectures. We've seen the widening economic disparity between the fat cats and the rest of us. Mr. Langen said that the only way things are going to change is with a precipice of fresh new ideas of young adults of the next generation. Mr. Langen knew that grade point averages and exams were just part of the archaic system that put us in this mess in the first place. If Mr. Langen wasn't currently dealing with Christi Lattel's unfounded allegations, we think he would be out here, sleeping in our tents and supporting our movement. This one is for you, Mr. L. Our demands are few: We will come back to class when Buckfield Academy does everything within its ability to halt foreclosures on the houses of the unemployed or sick. We will come back to class when Buckfield Academy does everything within its ability to break up the commercial banking system that's making money off the poor. We will come back to class when Buckfield Academy does everything within its ability to prosecute the greedy corporations for their hand in the economic collapse, with the exception of the following companies:
- Proctor and Gamble (Tina and Sheri Moeller's father is the CFO)
- Countrywide/Bank of America (Madison Carson's uncle is a mortgage executive)
- Fannie Mae (Teddy Sander's father is the VP)
- Exxon Mobile (Bronx Cutler's dad is on the board. Chance Baker's mother is head of strategic marketing. Pippy Bernstein's father is the top-subsidiary executive. Chet Vess's mother is the legal executive)
Sincerely,The Senior Class
For more world-changing manifestos, check out Why It's Time to Stop Wearing Mittens: A Manifesto and A Gamer's Manifesto.