5 Cool Cracked Store Items For Your Next Party
The living room means something different to everyone. For some, it's the place where you get naked and watch Seinfeld marathons. For others, it's a hub for unopened mail which piles for years until forming its own separate landmass. But have you ever wondered if the living room could be something more? Like, for example, a place where you invite guests to hang out? We sure have, and that's why the Cracked Dispensary and Cracked Store are getting together to help turn your living room from a 300-square-foot ashtray into a 300-square-foot ashtray that people could tolerate for one evening. All you need to do is pick up any of these on-sale items, and you too can be the proverbial host with the most.
Conversation is hard. It's why the Inuit invented eight different words for snow -- they couldn't figure out what else to talk about. Incidentally, that's how we got the term "icebreaker." [citation definitely needed] So we've developed the perfect icebreaker for your group gatherings. Just leave this magnetic space putty on your coffee table, and watch as your friends pick it and play with amazement. It doesn't matter how dull the conversation prior -- nobody can feel bored while bouncing a ball of moon gunk off the ground. And if the mood ever dies down, bring out the magnet and blow their freaking minds as you make this metal space booger levitate. Let's just say your party guests will be like putty in your hands.
Everyone from Martha Stewart to Snoop Dogg knows that mood lighting is essential. But how does one create mood lighting in the first place? Enter the Kasa LED Smart bulbs. These bulbs can be dimmed, brightened, and give you more color options than Tim Gunn at Mardi Gras. Best of all, it's all controlled remotely. Are you having a Monday night football party? Bam, the room is now Jets Green and Giants Blue. Are you having a significant other over for a little bow chika wow wow? Bam, dim the lights while listening to the dulcet tones of anything but Dave Matthew's Band. And not that little things like "saving money" or "the environment" should get in the way of crafting the perfect living room ambiance, but these will also save you money and help the environment. So feel good about that, too.
Nothing looks stranger than a bare wall. Even in jail cells, they put up hash marks. Are you going to let your living room be less hospitable than a prison? Heck no. That's why we're putting these posters on sale, and with free shipping. Tell your friends to stay a while, like how Boba Fett stayed in the Sarlacc Pit. Or maybe take the best seat in the house and explain how it's really a burden, like Ned Stark sitting on the Iron Throne. Whatever you decide, it'll be sure to delight your guests in ways only Deadpool could dream of. If not, then hey, hang up the Rey poster and maybe invest in a BB unit to give you company.
There may not be a worse house guest than Link from The Legend Of Zelda. First of all, he always comes in unannounced. Then he runs around smashing your pottery and taking the rupees you left inside them. We won't even get into how he might be the world's worst conversationalist. But if you can put up with Link, then you can put up with anybody. Get this hoodie and let your houseguests know that come boomerang, bomb, or slingshot, you'll still be there to pour them a nice cold jar of Lon Lon Milk.
It's the end of the night, and with your get-together a rousing success, it's time to break out the coffee. This mug depicting Dr. Zoidberg and Spock bonding over their shared interest in being alien outcasts is the perfect way to symbolize the friendship you share with everyone around you. Wish your pals a hearty "Live long and prosper" and a good ol' "Woop woop woop," and send them off with warm fuzzies from your great hospitality.
But Cracked, where do I go to get all this rad stuff?
We've been over this before, Boldfaced Font, but we're practicing good manners here, so we'll tell you anyway. Click on any of the images to get to their product pages, or click on any of these links to shop at the Cracked Dispensary or the Cracked Store. We'll leave you with one last home decor tip, as well: Bouncy ball chairs may seem healthy and fun, but they always, always suck. (See why below.)