Is it Gay or is it Maxim? A (Surprisingly Hard) Magazine Ad Quiz
Sometimes I read Maxim in order to stay current on which bikini models the caption writer at Maxim wants to molest. It has saved my life six times. But as I was panting over the ladies of Project Runway and an interview with Ben Kingsley, I found myself strangely not masturbating. If I'm being honest, I think it's because on every two out of three pages of Maxim, there is a hunky, shirtless man leering back at me and trying to sell me cologne. They seem like great guys, but they just don't fit into the fantasy I was trying to build with all these pictures of the top half of breasts. Maxim still seems to be written for the same red-blooded, sleep-raping American men that have always read it. But the advertisements seem to think differently, and if you have to pick between common sense and advertising, always go with advertising. Advertisers know everything and if they think you're gay, double check your partner's genitals. Marketing is our most advanced science. When they invent the pill that cures cancer, they will spend more on product branding and focus testing than they will on clinical research. Note: This set of priorities is why all societies end in accidental zombies. But that's something we'll deal with when it's far too late. Right now, we're going to play:
IS IT GAY? OR IS IT MAXIM!?
I've taken ads from Maxim and put them next to ads from Instinct, a leading gay magazine. I picked it at random from a San Francisco bookstore while fighting the urge to explain to everyone within visual range that THIS IS FOR AN ARTICLE! Can you tell which ad came from which magazine? And to add a wildcard element, I'll also include a third ad taken from A Bear's Life, a gay magazine specifically for the larger, hairier gentleman. Answers are below each picture, so don't cheat by scrolling too fast. Good luck!
I started you off with an easy one, so let's hope you got all three right.
A beer slow dancing with wheat is how you write "mustache on your dick" in hieroglyphics, but #1 is actually from Maxim.
#2 clearly shows two guys falling in love over a low calorie beer, and there's not enough alcohol in Bud Light to suggest that one of them might be doing it on accident. In fact, it has a warning right on the bottle about it:
"WARNING: NOT ENOUGH ALCOHOL PER VOLUME TO MAKE UGLY PEOPLE ATTRACTIVE. YOU WILL WASTE THE ENTIRE NIGHT TRYING FOR THINGS OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE WHILE YOUR TEQUILA-DRINKING FRIEND GETS TO SECOND BASE WITH A GIRL NAMED JEFF. MADE FROM RECYCLED BEER."
As you can see from #3, ads in bear magazines are very, very targeted to bears. This one is for a membership card that you can present at participating locations to tell them