The Indiana Jones Brainstorms: The Insane True Story
It's interesting to see everyone's creative process. George Lucas rambles on, he speaks without commas or periods, he repeats himself, he talks in circles but, occasionally, will miraculously stumble onto something so sharp and brilliant that eventually becomes essential and iconic, ("Oh and by the way, let's have him be really good with a bullwhip"), that you can almost forgive him for all of his crimes against
As interesting as the transcript is, there are also some pretty strange moments. I'll say that there's more subtle racism than I think I was expecting. There's nothing really too overt, but enough that it shows that Spielberg and Lucas have a lack of both respect and understanding for other cultures. They start out small, with bits that might not technically be racist. Like, on page 10, Lucas considers a scene with a lot of non-Americans in a foreign country running around, and he's worried about how expensive the project will be. He quickly puts his fears to rest, however...
Seven thousand dollars? That sounds kind of rough but, hey, maybe I just don't know how things work in New Dehli, or maybe the dollar is worth a whole lot more over there. Maybe seven thousand dollars, to be spread evenly among eight thousand extras and 15 cars is completely reasonable. Still, let's take a look a little bit farther down the page where Lucas and Spielberg talk about casting the locals:
I don't even know what ethnic stereotype Spielberg is referencing when he suggests that certain races routinely jump off cliffs, or if maybe he's just confusing Mexicans with lemmings, but I do know that someone, maybe even everyone, should be offended. It's even more interesting to watch them brainstorm about a villain for Indiana. They know they want a non-white villain, they know the villain needs to be sleazy, and they know they don't personally care about ideas that are potentially racially insensitive. They season the entire conversation with the word "Orientals" pretty liberally, they talk about how Chinese ("or whatever") villains are good choices because "you can never tell what they're thinking," Lucas refers to a Chinese warlord as "General Fu Man Chu," and they write off having a Middle Eastern villain because Spielberg "Can't think of many Arabs who are actors." Still, this particularly damning bit might be my favorite:
"Italians are too crazy?" What does that even mean? I can't tell if Lucas thinks Italian characters are too crazy or Italian actors are. Like, is he worried that the audience won't believe an Italian dude would be interested in something banal, like the Ark of the Covenant? Or is he's suggesting that Italian actors are, by nature too crazy to be captured on film? Does Lucas think Italian people are so clouded by their own madness that they wouldn't be able act? Too crazy to travel all over the world looking for the Ark of the Covenant? Too crazy to fight Indiana Jones in the fictional universe you're creating? What the hell rules are you operating under, Lucas? Potential racism aside, the transcript is also interesting because we get to see what George Lucas is like when he's speaking extemporaneously. On page 16, for example, he's just riffing, but take a look at the dialogue Lucas conjures up for the character who I think would eventually become Marcus Brody:
Sure, Lucas is just sort of going off the top of his head here, but, if you look at some of the clumsy, thoughtless lines that actually make it in to a lot of Lucas's scripts, you'll notice that there's not that much of an improvement. There are lines that are worse than the line above that made it into the final draft of the Star Wars films. We learn, I suppose, that when George Lucas makes dialogue up in the spur of the moment, it's just as shitty as when he actually sits down to really write it. Which is remarkable.
Actual line from the movie.There are also just some flat out terrible ideas. In the story as Lucas dictated it, Jones is stuck on a plane as it's crashing, and he and the screenwriter decided... From page 31.
Yes. There was almost a scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indiana Jones took a bunch of life preservers, curled up into a ball, and leapt out of plane. Thankfully, Lucas and company had the good sense to really look at that scene and objectively say "Hey, this is pretty retarded." This happens a few times, in fact. In addition to the sphere of life-preservers, there's a bumbling child sidekick character and a toboggan ride down a snowy mountain (???), all of which Lucas and Spielberg recognized as shitty. By leaving these cheesy, lame moments out, they saved
It's just sort of interesting to me to see what exactly Steven Spielberg thinks is important in a brainstorming session. In five days, they never decide a name for Marion Ravenwood, they don't quite settle on too many geographic locations and they still don't know exactly what Indiana's last name should be, but if there's one thing Steven Spielberg can concretely say, it's that Indiana Jones should knock a llama over. "Guys, I don't give a shit about what else happens in this movie, but if the credits roll and there's so much as
You should also note that there's less of a focus on tying up loose ends. In the original transcript, every plot point was analyzed from several different angles until they settled on something they liked. Here, they're just sort of tossed around. From page 10.
From page 113.
And, of course, their hearts just aren't quite in it as much anymore, and it's a little depressing to look at the evolution here. If you look at the old transcript, it's clear that they had ideas, (the shittiness of which admirably rivaled the shittiness of Crystal Skull), the difference being that they had the good sense to cut those ideas back in the eighties. If something as awful as fridge-nuking had come up in the spit-ball session for Raiders, it never would've made it to the screen, (where "never" can also mean "until Temple of Doom"). The old Lucas and Spielberg could look at a scene where Jones forms a ball of life preservers and wisely cut it, but the new Lucas and Spielberg can see a scene where a greasy teenager swings through the jungle with a bunch of CGI monkeys and all they can say is "More monkeys." Something was lost along the way, folks. Something profound. From page 90.
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