That's when I realized Rowsdower drugged my Scotch. I couldn't think of a reason the government would do that, but I also couldn't believe I bought a porno mag without remembering it. Maybe they wanted to follow me. See if I led them to clues in my compromised state. Guide them to Tobey or the Internet. I didn't know. All I knew was that suddenly the room was too big, and even when I pulled the covers and grabbed the pillows, I was alone.
I've spent the last three days in my hotel room. Too anxious to write. Too anxious to do anything other than take comfort in the Hustler that speeds my heart and then slows it with release. There's a girl on page 42 with a dolphin tattoo beside her absurdly coifed pubic hair who particularly excels at that. But then the fear returns, and I remember I still don't know where Tobey and Oz are or what to do without them. All I know is that if the government were hoping to find dirt on me in my altered state, they lost. For three days, it's been just me, the
Day 38: PORN IN THE APOCALYPSE When you manage worker compensation claims for ten years you start to know people. What hurts. Which wounds can heal. And what breaks us. I said in the beginning that losing the Net wouldn't mean returning to a simpler time. Shatter both of a man's kneecaps in an industrial accident, he won't take comfort in the return to crawling. He'll undergo extensive surgeries, splints, physical therapy, and, ultimately, walk with crutches if that's the best he can manage. And it's the same with porn. We need it back. But not the peep shows and smut peddlers of the 70's and 80's. We want all the ease, variety, and anonymity of the Internet. So sure, within weeks all the DVD and sex toy stores that Giuliani had pushed to 9th Avenue in the 90s crept back to Times Square proper, but there was more. Capitalism has risen to the challenge of creating Internet porn in the real world. Because drunken frat boys and men in rain jackets will always buy movies and mags from smiling Pakistanis in brightly lit stores, but the real money to be made is in servicing the millions who indulged in the privacy of their homes. 38 days into the Apocalypse and New York porn has changed.
The first thing I noticed, in addition to the proliferation of standard porn stores, was a surprising number of costume shops. Seemingly legit Halloween stores, but since this was May, it didn't make sense. I walked inside one and was struck by its size. There were a few anemic shelves with cheap masks despite the handful of quality masks that had been in the window. An Orthodox Jewish man purchased a pirate disguise, and then a business-casual dude bought a plastic Spider-Man mask held on by a stapled rubber band. But instead of exiting with their purchases, both men headed out towards a back door. I followed.
"Sir, you need mask?" an employee asked.
"I'm not sure."
I caught the door before it closed and ventured inside only to find a much bigger pornography store filled with men of all shapes and sizes. All wearing masks, and free to peruse the aisles without any fear of being seen or recognized. And if they'd been caught in the store's antechamber before purchasing their disguise? Well, the shops were still good enough for plausible deniability.
Other than that though, the store was pretty standard. Movie aisles were separated by categories. Big circular anti-theft mirrors hung in the corners next to surveillance cameras. Aside from the masks, the only other difference I noticed was the proliferation of fetish porn and the disproportionately high clusters of men in those aisles. Adaptation was paying off, and anonymity was good for business. After a few hours and several visits to similar stores, I went home - without Oz, but with several cheap masks and a variety of DVDs I would never admit to purchasing in real life. I guess that doesn't makes sense to say anymore, considering this is the only life we know.