5 Responsible Ways To Mock Everything
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Is it Too Inane to Mock? Replace it with Something.

Is it Totally Insane? Make it Make Sense.

Touchy Subject? Change the Context.
For this example, I'll use something we can all agree on: women without shirts. As you know, after a certain time of night, every commercial on TV is about drunk girls showing their tits. I don't get why. It's reassuring to know that they're out there doing that, but what the fuck am I going to do with a DVD set of it? Like I have the time and imagination to force a jerk-off out of partial nudity. Sure, I remember the days of sitting through three straight Shannon Tweed movies with a hard-on on deck and frantically trying to get something done with a precious second of side boob. But that was when I was 13, and before I learned of the dangers of erections lasting longer than four hours. When you're a kid you have to treat pornography like you treat a Nintendo game. As unforgiving or terrible as it might be, you and your hands will keep fighting to the end because you have nothing better to do and you can't go buy a new one. Now that I've grown up, I don't have to spend weeks earning my doctorate in Battletoads so I can see how their Battletoad story turns out. And I don't have to create elaborate situations in my head to keep a page of Sears bra models fresh. I can buy the novelization ofAt a Loss? Use Technology to your Advantage.

Does it Shame Us Simply By Existing? Defend it to a Space Monster.
Sometimes you'll encounter things that bring shame upon the human race as a whole. I've already used the example of submarine farts, so I'll go with my second choice: White Chicks. It's a movie that came out in 2004 about two black police officers who go undercover as a pair of high society white women. To their credit, no one involved in the making of the film tried. I believe the makeup effects were done by a team of serial killers and a van of dismembered, blood-drained corpses; and the jokes seemed like an impotent last-ditch effort to hurt the white man's feelings. In my line of work I'm often given things like this to make fun of, but it can be depressing. I was raised to not attack the handicapped. Unless, of course, they're stacked three-high in their true combat form. So what do you do? The answer may be surprising: Use the power of your imagination to send you and the subject in question deep into outer space court where you're Earth's defense lawyer. The movie White Chicks is Space People's Exhibit A. And the charge: one count of Tell Us Why We Shouldn't Explode You The Fuck Up. You really have to approach the problem from a different angle this way. How do you explain White Chicks to a jury of outer space creatures? Their lawyer will eat you alive during the scene where Marlon Wayans is so black he doesn't know what quiche is, and he eats so many that he has a screaming shit in the ladies rest room.